quick update…

So, I know I’m a crappy blogger. I have lots of excuses about why this is, but this post isn’t about that. What this post is about is the decision that I made official this morning.

Starting in July of next year, I will officially be a New Yorker!!! I just accepted the offer for full-time employment with the company that I interned with this summer.

sometimes…

This post could also be called “Confessions of a Wannabe New Yorker.”

Sometimes…on the train, if someone was standing just a little too close to me (not when he or she couldn’t help it, of course), I would turn away from the person with just enough force to throw my handbag right into their stomach.
Sometimes…when people (mainly tourists) were walking just a little too slowly, I would sweep past them without even attempting to not slam into them just a bit.
Sometimes…even if I had every intention of standing (on the right) of an escalator so I could get in one more page of Atlas Shrugged before work, I would start walking (on the left) if I saw that someone was standing on the left just so I could ask tell the person to move over. And sometimes…I’d roll my eyes at the person.
Sometimes…when a person was not paying attention to where his/her dog was walking (as in leash stretched across the sidewalk) I would walk right where his/her dog would be right in my way…even if I could easily go around.
Sometimes…when I got home and people were sitting on my stoop, and therefore had to move so I could get into my building, I would take my sweet time getting my keys out. And sometimes…I would decide that was a perfect time to text message Kelly or Sarah.
KP, did I forget any?
Just so you all know, I did lots of nice things too, like give people directions and when it was obvious that they were geographically challenged (and sometimes more than just geographically) I would actually walk with them to wherever they were going or get them on the right train or the right street.
However, you can now see why some people don’t like me.

because 30 minutes of sleep is worse than none

I have a little time to kill before my car arrives to take me to the airport and back to the oh so lovely P-town and I wanted to tell you all what posts you can look forward to in the very near future.

  • Lots of Central Park photos
  • A report on my internship
  • An fully updated list of restaurants on my sidebar
  • Several posts about my fabulous friends
  • Multiple “Dear You” posts – inspired by NYC, plane travel, public transportation, people who make out in public, and a number of other equally entertaining topics
  • Confessions of a wannabe New Yorker (me)
  • And lots and lots and lots of pictures
The bad news? I’m leaving New York.
The good news? P-town affords me plenty of time to blog…just not much to blog about.

decisions

I was raised to believe in right decisions. As in, I always want to be sure that I’m making the right decision. And recently, I realized that sometimes, this can be paralyzing. Sometimes, I get so scared that I will make the wrong decision, that I fail to make any decision whatsoever.

Recently I had a minor major melt down as a result of this thinking. The past year of my life has been decision filled and I started to second guess a decision I made and felt was right. And then I started to second guess my ability to tell when a decision is right or wrong. (Yes, I do realize that I’m relatively mental…so don’t think that you know some great secret that has somehow eluded me).
I was seriously in crisis mode.
And then I had this epiphany. That as people on this earth, we are given agency or free will with which to make decisions. That’s not to say that sometimes there is a right decision for you (please know that I am not referring to the moral sense of the word right…stealing is always a bad decision), but it is to say that sometimes there isn’t a right choice.
That was the epiphany. Some of you might be thinking that I’m joking because this is so clear to you…but it wasn’t to me. But it makes perfect sense now. I realized, in reference to the huge decision I have coming about where I want to spend the first few years of my new career, that unless I get a very clear feeling that one opportunity is the right opportunity, I can make the decisions that makes the most sense for me.
This was such a liberating epiphany. It also made me realize how much I like being able to fall back on the knowledge that I know that I made the right decision…especially when the going gets tough. It’s so much easier to deal with crap when you have someone else (in my case, God) who I can hold responsible for my difficulties.
And another little remembered insight; the nature of having to make a decision is that you have to choose, which infers that you will be sacrificing one option for another. And in difficult decisions, those sacrifices can be very painful on either side.
So, the bottom line. I feel great. I get to decide what I want to do and then own that decision and the sacrifices it requires. And the crisis is over. Yay!