This post could also be called “Confessions of a Wannabe New Yorker.”
Sometimes…on the train, if someone was standing just a little too close to me (not when he or she couldn’t help it, of course), I would turn away from the person with just enough force to throw my handbag right into their stomach.
Sometimes…when people (mainly tourists) were walking just a little too slowly, I would sweep past them without even attempting to not slam into them just a bit.
Sometimes…even if I had every intention of standing (on the right) of an escalator so I could get in one more page of Atlas Shrugged before work, I would start walking (on the left) if I saw that someone was standing on the left just so I could
ask tell the person to move over. And sometimes…I’d roll my eyes at the person.
Sometimes…when a person was not paying attention to where his/her dog was walking (as in leash stretched across the sidewalk) I would walk right where his/her dog would be right in my way…even if I could easily go around.
Sometimes…when I got home and people were sitting on my stoop, and therefore had to move so I could get into my building, I would take my sweet time getting my keys out. And sometimes…I would decide that was a perfect time to text message Kelly or Sarah.
KP, did I forget any?
Just so you all know, I did lots of nice things too, like give people directions and when it was obvious that they were geographically challenged (and sometimes more than just geographically) I would actually walk with them to wherever they were going or get them on the right train or the right street.
However, you can now see why some people don’t like me.