From the top…

Dear Job,

The truth is I’m pretty much over you. While the position of glorified secretary was exactly what I needed for the last year and a half, you have now outstayed your welcome…or I have outstayed mine, as the case may be. I’m tired of rarely needing to use my brain. I’m tired of feeling guilty because my actual work takes very little time…or thought. I’m tired of being surrounded by the inefficiencies of academia. I’m tired of working for a “not-for-profit” type of operation. Yep…I’m done. But, I refuse to leave a trail of chaos behind, so I am going to work my tail off for the next five weeks or so. But, I must say, May 9th will be a good day. Although, I will miss several of the people with whom I work…though not all of them.

With much impatience,

Chloe

Dear Coworkers,

I was referring to the job, not you. And if you are reading this, it’s because you know it exists, which would be a clear indication that you are one of the people I am going to miss.

Love,

Chloe

Dear Nev,

Sometimes you really, really, really hurt my feelings. And sometimes you are really grumpy. And sometimes those two things, combined with PMS, will cause me to cry intermittently all day long. I realize that in your world, fiscal responsibility is the end all be all of goodness in a human being. However, I do not live in your world. I live in my world.

With a tear-stained face and puffy eyes,

Chloe

Dear BFFs,

Thanks for wanting to go to lunch with me today and sitting through all of my tears. Thanks for chatting with me online and being sympathetic even though your situation is similar…and perhaps more difficult than my own. Thanks for letting me rain on your respective parades. Thanks for being good listeners. It’s a good thing we have the internet, or all of your relocations would be too much for me to handle.

Love,

Chloe

Dear Ticket Scalpers,

I think you are evil. I know that’s harsh, but I really do. I know many of you have justifications for why you did what you did today, but I really do think it’s wrong, especially for an event held in celebration of our nation’s birthday. Especially when the people most excited to see Mylie Cyrus are kids and tweenies. Especially when this is an event that some families go to every year as part of their family tradition and now they won’t be able to, unless they are willing to pay 2-10 times the original ticket price. Especially when I was online right when the tickets went on sale and I couldn’t even get one. I hope some of you reconsider.

Just remember, Karma’s a b#@!$ and She generally gets her revenge.

And to those of you who are considering purchasing tickets from scalpers, I hope you will take the opportunity to think about the value of money and what you are teaching your children by doing so. Mylie Cyrus is going to be paid either way. Do you really want your children growing up believing that one show was so “important” that is was worth hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars?

Sincerely,

A girl who is totally disgusted by the things people will do to make money

Dear Birth Mothers,

You are amazing women. Thank you for being so absolutely and completely selfless.

With all the sincerity and love I have,

Chloe

Dear Siblings,

Thank you for being fabulous! Thank you for listening to me go on and on…and on today, and attempting to understand me through all of my tears. Thank you for knowing me so well that when you answered the phone, you knew something was wrong before I even started talking. Thank you for your sound advice…and sitting on the phone with me much longer than I’m sure you wanted to. And thank you for being honest with me, so that when you agreed with me today, I could feel totally validated in my anger, frustration and hurt feelings. Thank you for providing me with beds and couches to crash on, places to visit, and, occasionally, income. I feel pretty blessed.

Love,

Your sister, who really hopes that she gives you guys as much as you give her

Dear Eyes,

I am really, really sorry about today. I know you never give me any grief. You don’t even have any vision issues. But I manage to cause you pain frequently enough. But really, it’s not me, it’s my over active tear ducts. Blame them. I’m sorry you are going to be so sore and swollen tomorrow. I am going to try really hard not to cry anymore…but I’m guessing it’s not going to work. I know that’s not the most positive way of thinking, but I have to be honest. Just know that your pain is my pain, too.

Sincerely,

The girl with the Scandinavian genetics that really bug her from time to time

Dear WWs’ Scale,

Please be nice to me tomorrow. Pretty, pretty please.

Sincerely,

The girl who is back…finally…with lots and lots of support

Dear PMS,

Why is it that you always, always come when I have a bad day; a day that I could normally handle without too much grief…or any tears? I’m sick of you.

With no love…especially since your existence is not doing me any good whatsoever,

Chloe