the last brownie

Last week I posted this photo on FB (and Instagram…I’m totally addicted to Instagram)…


…and it was really fun to see all of the comments people left. Obviously, I like this picture. But the comments I liked the best weren’t about what I looked like on the outside, but about how people could tell I’m happy. I feel like you can’t fake that. And I wasn’t. I really am so happy with my life right now.

And since arriving in New York and seeing people I haven’t seen in a while, their reaction has been the same. I’ve received lovely compliments about how happy I look. Could there be anything better than that?

That’s not to say that there aren’t things I think I need to change (there are always things I think I need to change), or that it is all sunshine and butterflies (I just had a mini-breakdown about something totally ridiculous on Saturday night). But the reality is somehow, someway, over the past few years, I feel like I’ve figured a few things out.

The first, and most important, is that life is going to happen and I can choose to be a victim or not. And I am not a victim. Yes, crap things have happened to me in my life. Yes, my life is not exactly how I would want it to be if I had control over everything. But. But! I can choose how I react to what happens.

The second is that I can choose to do everything I can to make my life as good as it can possibly be in terms of the things that I can control. I may not have the exact things that I dreamed I would have when I was 16, but I have done the best I can with what I’ve been given and that’s something I can feel really good about.

The third thing is that friends and family are really what matters. I know that I’ve decide to spend the next who knows how long in Tokyo…on the other side of the world from most of my friends and all of my family, but I wouldn’t be able to do that if I didn’t have their support and know that they were there when I need them (and vice versa). And it has been so nice during this trip to be able to see so many friends and most of my immediate family (as of tomorrow night).


Fourth, I really believe that God wants me to be happy. And sometimes part of that happiness means going through hard things so that I can learn and grow. But if I choose to learn and grow from those hard things, I will be a better person for it. And I will have the confidence that comes from going through hard things and the ability to empathize with those in similar circumstances.

And finally (and maybe most importantly) on those days when all else fails, I can always think of someone who deserves that last brownie more than I do. And sometimes that’s what it takes.

scene of the moment

Finishing up: a final project for Strategy Implementation (a block class).

Listening to: “One Last Time” by The Kooks.
Dreaming about: my graduation present to myself. I’m going to hold out and not buy it before graduation…I swear.
Reveling in: another successfully planned event. The Etiquette Luncheon was absolutely brilliant.
Thinking about: the fabulous concert I went to last night with Kristan.
Wondering if: I’ll be able to afford the fabulous apartment I’m hoping for in New York.
Enjoying: happy thoughts about my fabulous weekend.
Wishing that: all conversations on the phone could be as enjoyable as those I’ve had to day.
Dying for: a meal at the fabulous Bruges on Thursday with Sare.
Missing: too many people and places and things to list.

last days in p-town

My brother and sister-in-law came up for her brother’s wedding. I was happy to stick around P-town a little longer to help out with childcare. In case you can’t tell, I seriously adore these two munchkins. We had so much fun running around my dad’s backyard on Friday. It was a great way to spend my time before heading off to New York, which happens in about five hours…I suppose I should finish packing?

These next few pictures tell a little story. My nephew was upset because he wanted to play with the dogs’ stick (my brother was playing a game of fetch with them) and we wouldn’t let him. But I figured out how to make it all better.

Pouting on the steps.

Deciding that sitting on the steps while everyone else is having fun wasn’t totally worth it.

Me sneaking up behind him to “scare” him (he loves to “scare” and “be scared”).

Which led to a game of chase, that ended with us wrestling on the ground.

My niece is getting so big!!! She is just as crazy as my nephew, too. These two little Las Vegas babies sure loved playing outside on the cool grass.

My nephew decided he needed to steal the stick from the dogs…two different times. He was so pleased with himself. It was hilarious!

A little girl just loving life.

This was a great way to spend my time before heading off to New York, which happens in about five hours…I suppose I should finish packing?

zero motivation

I have about a million things to do before I move to New York for the summer (I leave Sunday), and yet, I find myself wholly unmotivated. After spending the last two weeks with my only purpose being to play with my nieces and nephews, and occasionally get out to see a friend, I just don’t really want to run errands. Especially since any errand running done over the past three weeks has been with my sister or sister-in-law. I don’t want to run errands by myself.

And it’s not that I haven’t been productive, well at least today (Saturday and most of Sunday I was pretty much a couch-or LoveSac-potato most of the day…damn CSI: Miami reruns). I’ve been very productive, just not in terms of anything that I actually need to do. I’ve done some updating of my personal journal. I’ve sent a bunch of emails I needed to send. I’ve figured out what I need to do to get a new passport since I currently hold an Emergency Passport. I sent my mom’s pizza sauce recipe to my sister. I burned a CD for my friend in Alaska. I’ve caught up on my blogs. I’ve commented on people’s photos in my Portrait Class gallery. But it’s 2:00 and I haven’t checked one thing off of my “To Do” list for the day (only half of one thing…the passport). And worse, I don’t really care that much. I’ll probably start caring on Thursday. But today? Not even a little bit.

Oh well. That’s the way it goes. It’s not like I won’t be able to pack all my stuff and have it ready. Saturday night just might not end up involving any kind of sleep. It’s happened before. There are worse things.

The fact that I’m totally broke probably isn’t helping anything, either.

So, in case you thought you were the only one who sometimes doesn’t get dressed…all day, you’re not.

*I will be getting dressed today…at some point. I have a BBQ to go to.

posts in progress

I have six in total. All have been started. None finished. And there are many more in my head.

Here’s the quick and dirty update on my life, for anyone who is interested. Right now I’m in AZ playing with my nieces and nephews…particularly the babies. It has been so fun (and exhausting). Because of my sister’s crazy work schedule and her husband’s finals, I have been playing the role of nanny almost full-time. Today was by far the hardest day with the littlest munchkin suffering from some kind of illness…I got puked on and pooped on, along with all of the other daily activities.

I’m currently taking my first photography class from one of my besties, Candice through Candice is an amazing photographer and I’m taking her portraiture class and LOVING it.

While in AZ I’ve been able to catch up with a number of people. I went into Dolce (the old stomping grounds) for a massage, and was able to see my old boss, who I just adore, as well as a number of the other girls I used to work with. I can’t believe it’s been three years since I left Dolce and AZ. So much has happened, and yet it feels as if I’ve only been gone a few months…maybe because I come down here at least four times a year. I also saw my bestie from beauty school (yes…if you weren’t aware, I went to beauty school just after I left college). And then I got to spend some quality time with one of my favorite people in the world, Jenny, and meet her new little munchkin who is darling.

What I haven’t been doing is reading all of the books I brought with me, getting ready every day (or even most days), sleeping in, calling people, going to bed early, exercising, or blogging. Being a “mommy” is time consuming…especially when they aren’t your kids so you are like the best version of a mommy you can possibly be. (Basically, I don’t ever want to appear like I’m neglecting my sister’s kiddies to blog, or exercise, or whatever).

What I have been doing in all of the hours I am in my sister’s house with two kiddos under two is thinking…a lot. Thus the many posts floating in my head.

The good news is that I am just super content right now. I head back to Vegas next week for a couple of days, then back to P-town just in time to run this great 5k that I love. A week there and then I’m off to NY for the summer. I’m glad I’ve had a purpose this last week and a half…or I might seriously be going crazy. As I’ve said before, I enjoy Downtime for weekend visits, but much more than that and I want to kill her.

That’s all for now.