confirmation

I have lots to blog about from this weekend, but as most of it would be enhanced by the pictures that I have yet to download, I’m going to stick to the one thing that does not require pictures.

I flew to Nashville Friday night for an admissions interview at V on Monday (if you do a little search with the city and MBA, you’ll satisfy your curiosity). Over the course of my two flights (connecting through Chicago), I started to freak out just a little. In fact, freak out maybe a little extreme. I started to doubt. I started to think about my 17-year-old thoughts of being a dermatologist, and while I have no desire to got to med-school, it made me think. Is business what I really want to do? What kind of stress and pressure is my future career going to hold? Can I really do this and be successful? Etc, etc.

You would think that I would have nailed down this decision with absolute surety given the 100s of hours I have put into the research, application and interview process. But, no. The doubt crept in, which led to a little anxiety. Granted, I have proven to myself that I am willing to interrupt my life and completey change course when I feel like a chosen path is not the right one for me, but the thought of turning my back on all of the work I have done, the contacts I have made, the money my dad (yes, I’m totally spoiled) has spent on the process…well, it was enough to make me freak out just a little.

I spent most of the weekend with this on my mind. I had a great conversation with my friends about my thoughts and concerns, but I think I spoke as a person who was much more sure about her decision than I really was. And then add to that the decision about which school to attend…I was a little overwhelmed.

And then I went in for my interview on Monday. I was a little nervous, although the beauty of doubting my overall decision was there was this little part of me that thought, “Well, if this doesn’t go well, maybe that’s my answer.” It kind of took the pressure off.

The interview went really well. So well that I realized that my interview at T was probably even worse that I had thought. I knew it wasn’t great, but…it really wasn’t great. During the interview, I felt myself getting so excited about all of the things we were discussing. This was the beginning of the calm that was coming.

It was during my class visit, though, that complete and total reassurance came. I was sitting in Sales, Promotions and Personal Selling with my student host. The class was discussing a case: foil and plastic wrap. I was in heaven. As the professor asked a question, I responded with a head nod. He then called on me to share my thoughts, since I was obviously having some. So I did. In that moment, all of my doubts were gone.

Yes, business school will push me. For once, I will be doing something where I will really have to work my tail off. I’m sure there will be days and nights when I question everything again, but for now, I’m so excited! And even though I have not yet decided where I’m going (especially since I have yet to receive many acceptance and rejection letters), I cannot wait for September.

12 thoughts on “confirmation

  1. Very cool, Chloe. I appreciate you working through your doubt. I think doubt can be a great tool for discovery, which you clearly showed. Congrats on a good interview.

  2. I hate those moments of self doubt, they can really screw you up! I’m sure whatever you decide on though you will be great at! Good luck!

  3. I don’t know what I would do without those little confirmations–because my mind constantly goes back and forth between several directions I’d like to go in my life. Without confirmation I’d never make up my mind. Congrats on a great interview!!

  4. If you end up at V, let me know. My godmother lives there, I’m there at least once a year, and we very seriously considered it for both med school and residency. I’d be glad to give you some advice if you feel you need it!

  5. V is a great school, and everyone I know that went there loved it! But it’s true, if you don’t get in, it’s not meant to be. I don’t think anyone ever made such a big decision without questioning it a million times. It’s great that you have such a peace now. Good Luck!

  6. YAY for you!! Isn’t it so relieving when you get that little confirmation that what you’re doing is right? I’m excited for you!

  7. when i went to nashville, i stayed in the neighborhood around v (assuming that there is only one school in nashville starting with a v – i was too lazy to google around to figure it out for sure), and i loved it! i even went home and looked up their grad program (despite already being enrolled in a program in washington). i totally think it would be awesome to live there for a few years. i am glad that the interview went well and that your enthusiasm for going back to school returned!!

  8. I think it is good to have those moments. It helps me when I am having a really hard time to know that what I am going through is something I really wanted. Good Luck with everything!!! Keep us all posted!

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