In case you wanted to know, Penelope is fantastic. I will be going to see it for the third time tonight. (Don’t judge me. Don’t you dare judge me.) Absolutely fabulous. It may have the best movie kiss of all time. I mean, it is James McAvoy. That’s all I’m going to say, but here’s the trailer for your enjoyment (although, it’s even better than the trailer lets on). Oh, and the soundtrack? Amazing!
So, I don’t talk about my job very much, but one of the benefits of working where I work is that I am surrounded by psychologists. Okay, maybe that’s both a cost and a benefit. Anyway, about two weeks ago, I decided to take this personality test. I’m not sure why I decided to do it, but I did. The key to this test, if you are going to do it properly, is to take it and have a professional go through the results with you…which is what I did.
The test gives you results in four different areas, each represented as a letter.
I am an ENTJ.
Frank, decisive, leaders in activities. Develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organization problems. Good in anything that requires reasoning and intelligent talk, such as public speaking. Are usually well informed and enjoy adding to their fund of knowledge.
Well, don’t I sound fabulous?
In case you were wondering, the description for any of the sixteen types is very positive. No type is better or worse than the others, just different. What this really did for me was to solidify what I already basically knew about myself. And it really helped me to see why I interact with certain people the way I do, why I just don’t “get” some of the people out there, and why I am pretty much over my job and can’t wait to be done.
Some adjectives to describe me (this is fun and less positive):
My favorite part of the analysis? Suggestions for development:
Don’t you want to be my friend?
Truthfully, I like who I am, in general. And, just as you would expect from someone self-centered, I think the way I am is a great way to be (except for when it comes to dating, where this particular type makes me a little bit of a crazy person, but that’s an entire post of its own).
I’m still learning a lot about how my personality interacts with others’ (the counselor who interpreted my results loaned me a great book), but so far I feel like it has helped me understand a lot about my interactions with others and the motivation behind why I do what I do.
And, in case you wanted to know, I highly recommend the test, if you ever have the opportunity to take it. You can click here for a basic overview of the test and types, if you’re curious. Can you guess what your type is?
So, third time’s a charm…or so they say.
Actually, I did a pretty good job of preparing myself mentally before returning to WW this morning after five weeks of not going. A good thing I did. As I’m standing there, the woman about to weight me asks how I’m doing. My response, in true Chloe form, “Well, I haven’t been here in five weeks and I know I’ve gained weight, so I’m not doing great. If I just don’t weight more than when I started, I’ll be happy.”
Pause.
“If I just don’t weigh more than a pound more than when I started, I’ll be happy.”
Pause.
“Whatever, I’m here. I’m starting over and that’s what matters, right?”
Weight woman, looking at me wondering why I’m not getting on the scale (or so I think): “Well, are you ready?”
Me: “Sure.”
And the reality hits me like a brick (one that I knew was coming, but even if you know a brick is going to hit you in the face, it still hurts); up 1.6 lbs from when I started. Well, when I started the second time. Overall, I’m still down 5 lbs and I’m going with that happy thought right now.
This is a process; a painful, awful, excruciating, and often disappointing one, but a process nonetheless. And each time I go through it, I learn a little more about myself and how I function.
The important thing is I don’t feel hopeless; disappointed, but not hopeless. I know why I gained weight and, while it would be nice to make a million excuses for myself, like that my metabolism sucks, or that genetically I’m not made to be thin, or that other people don’t suffer from emotional eating, or that I shouldn’t have gained that much because I was paying attention and eating less than usual, the bottom line is that I have been eating too much for me (although, as you have seen, some of it has not been wasted calories…although the majority has) and not exercising enough (which will be really funny next weekend when I’m dying as I attempt to finish a half marathon…notice I didn’t say “run”).
Yes, it’s frustrating, but I can only really blame myself. I know what I have to do to make this happen. For me, I have to be a points-Nazi. I still sometimes delude myself into thinking that I can estimate and keep track in my head, but I can’t and I don’t. So, back on the horse I climb, a little scratched, and a little bruised, but at least I can still get back on. The only thing that would really make me feel like a failure was if I stopped trying to ride.
Before I share what I want to share here, I have to tell you all that I’ve had a pretty crappy week overall. I just don’t want you all to think that my life is peaches and sunshine. I assure you it is not (I’m going back to WW tomorrow…gag). But, despite my crappy week and pity kegger (much bigger than a party…sadly, though, no alcohol was involved, so it’s a bit of a misnomer), there always seems to be a bit of sunshine.
This week, the sunshine came in the form of a fantastic concert. It’s that time of year again, thank goodness. Yesterday, right after work, Sarah, Candice and I headed to Salt Lake, where we met up with Emily, Heidi and my friend, Rebecca, to see Ingrid Michaelson and Joshua Radin in concert.
It was a great show. I hate the venue it was at, but otherwise, fantastic! I love Joshua and was excited to see him again (although, I now see that he has some issues…which is probably why I’m attracted). Ingrid was phenomenal. Sadly, I forgot to take my camera in (well, I remembered, but by the time I did, the line was starting to move), so no great video footage of Ingrid and her bad self (she’s hilarious) or Joshua telling the story of his sad breakups. We did manage to get it after for some great pics with the artists. Candice is also planning becoming BFFs with Ingrid, so that will make me Ingrid’s BFF once removed. How awesome is that?
me, Joshua, and Sarah
Candice, me, Ingrid, and SarahAnd here are some downloads for your listening pleasure:
Paperweight – Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk. Sadly, they broke up, so he can’t play this song anymore. But the breakup did inspire a great new song called You’ve Got Growing Up to Do …ouch. And that’s why I’ll never date a musician. (You can listen to his new stuff on his MySpace page).
The Fear You Won’t Fall – Joshua Radin
Breakable – Ingrid Michaelson
The Hat – Ingrid Michaelson
Story #1:
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was training for her first half marathon. The race was in March, so all of her training happened in the winter. One Saturday morning, bright and early, she went for a run. It was a cold, sunny day causing her to think two things. First, she wouldn’t need to take water with her, even though she was scheduled to run 10 miles. Second, the sun lulled her to a false sense of security and made her forget that she was still running in the ice and snow of a Utah winter. Being that she is an extremely independent and stubborn girl, it didn’t occur to her to carry her phone with her.
She headed to the Provo River trail and off on her run. Things seemed to be going well. She ran along just fine for about 10 miles. And then she fell. She wasn’t wearing gloves, so she cut her hands. She had no water or fuel with her, so when her adrenaline started pumping from the fall there were serious consequences. She was so shaky it took her about 30 minutes to walk the last mile to her car.
Story #2:
Another “upon a time”, a girl was training for her first marathon. She had flown from Utah to Arizona in June to help her sister with a new baby. As she had just started her training, she did not want to lose momentum, so she planned to run in the scorching heat of the Arizona summer.
Saturday morning she needed to run seven miles. She left the house bright and early at 6:30 am. Unfortunately, in Arizona, at this time of day it was already about 90F outside. Being that it was hot outside, she was smart enough to bring water with her, 20 whole oz. About three miles into said run, she was out of water and ready to die. Once again, she had not brought her phone with her (some lessons take a while) so she couldn’t call her sister to come rescue her. She had not thought to bring money with her to buy more water. So there she was, on the corner of Queen Creek and Power, standing in front of a gas station.
She had been heading over to her friend’s house (she used to live in Arizona) and there was no way she was going to make it, so she finally went into the gas station and asked if she could use the phone. It’s not that she didn’t want to ask to use the phone, but she was afraid they’d say “no” as there was a pay phone outside. They didn’t and thankfully, Vicky’s phone number was one of the few that she actually knew by heart. Vicky answered and came to pick her up.
Lessons learned:
Really, the thing I know now that I wish I’d known then is that knowledge is power, even in running. Learning from others is the best way to avoid making the same mistakes. Ask questions. Talk to people. Read books. Runners are some of the friendliest people I know. What works for one may not work for you, but it’s sure nice to know the options and possibilities.
existential dilemmas 