dear you…inspired by a post on a housing google group

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Dear Married People,

When posting about your life circumstances, is it really necessary to say things like “our internship”? I mean, is it really both of you who will be doing the internship? I don’t think so. At least, in my experience, companies aren’t in the habit of hiring married couples for one internship.
I get that you are a couple and a family unit and that you do things together, but other spouse…don’t you have other things you will be doing? I mean, does your whole world really so revolve around your interning husband/wife that you can’t just say “his/her internship”. All that this does is make me think that you don’t have a life of your own and that you really do define yourself by what your spouse is doing. Seriously, have a little pride in what you do. There’s nothing wrong with moving somewhere for your husband’s/wife’s internship or job, but don’t pretend that it’s yours, too. (And let’s be honest, I’ve never actually heard a husband say things like this.)
On that note, I also get that when my married classmates were going through school, their spouses were having a unique experience, as well…but I just don’t love it when spouses would say things like “we finish school in two weeks” or “we just got a great job”. Must you define yourself by your spouse’s accomplishments? Is it really so bad to say, “My husband is finishing school in two weeks and I am so excited”? Everyone knows that you helped him get through school. Everyone knows that you probably helped him research all of the companies with which he interviewed. Don’t you have things you’re doing? If you have children and you are a SAHM, don’t you feel like that is a huge accomplishment?
Someone please explain to me why people (well, women) do this. It just seems to undermine our value and abilities and make us seem like we were created just to be an extension of our husbands.
I really do want to understand. Really. But I’m not sure if I ever will.
Sincerely,
A girl who hopes she never turns into a wife and mother who only defines herself by her husband’s and children’s accomplishments

ch-ch-changes

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This week I said goodbye to a dear friend. (This is not a post about dying…so please don’t worry.) I sold my Honda. Below, you will see the pretty pictures of my happy car. The sale of this car marked the beginning of my big move to the big city. I have been so excited to move to New York. So. Excited. But with the end of school, and now the end of my automobile ownership, I am really starting to feel that this move will not be all sunshine and roses. There will be homesickness and adjustments, missing my friends and my family. And I know there will be lots of moments when I will wish that owning a car in New York city made any kind of sense for me.

Thankfully, the process was not super difficult. I listed it on Craigslist. Received an email the next day. And voila, after a test drive and the buyer’s mechanic checking it out, we had a sale. On Tuesday morning, I met the buyer at the DMV and handed over my title. I felt like a real grown up. It was weird.

This was MY very first car. By that, I don’t mean that it’s the first car I ever drove (that was a VW Rabbit convertible…a super beater car–an ’84 in ’95–and I LOVED it ), but it was the first car that I bought all on my own and it was brand new at the time (something I will likely never do again). I paid it off a little over a year and a half ago. So the car was totally and completely mine. And now it’s totally and completely someone else’s.

And so begins the big move to NYC. I have a couple more weeks before I head out to secure an apartment…just wait until you hear what that entails. I’ll just say this…if you ever want to rent an apartment in New York, you should not have lived with your dad during graduate school. You should have stellar credit. And you must make 40x the rent. It’s going to be a painful experience finding somewhere to live is all I can say.


location roller coaster

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While on my girls’ trip right after graduation, I got a phone call from my program director just wanting to touch base about various positions available. (I’m going into a rotational program, so I will be in one position for a year, and then I’ll rotate to another one, and finally…hopefully…I’ll go international for six-months or so, and then land in a normal role.) Anyway, he asked me about my geographic preferences, and of course, being that I am all about the job right now, I told him I would go wherever. He then told me about a role in Vegas and one in Dallas.

Since I was already in Vegas, he asked me if I would be willing to go meet with the team there. Of course, I was. It was a great team, and a great role. I wasn’t sure it was the role I wanted, but…it was good. Then I got the information about the role in Dallas. For some reason, I was just really excited about the prospect of Dallas. I mean, it’s no New York, for sure, but I could get so many things paid off with my salary living in Dallas. So, I talked to the Dallas people. Perfect role for me. Great manager. Very excited about the whole thing. I was all for it.
So, I email my school friends and tell my family about this change in plans. Finally, I emailed my work people (the ones with whom I interned last summer) to let them know I wouldn’t be coming to New York. Not five minutes after that email, I get a response from my program director that we need to talk.
Long story short, I’m going to New York in my DREAM role. It’s with my favorite business group and with a great manager who is well know for his investment in training new associates. I could not be more excited.
Now, if I just didn’t have to find housing…life would be perfect!!! But perhaps, I found something today. Perhaps.

mother’s day thoughts

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I don’t think it’s any secret to my closest friends that I don’t really like Mother’s Day. Not having a mother who’s alive and not having any children…well, you can see that it wouldn’t rank very high on my list of favorite holidays. It’s basically just a slap in the face. (I’m not bitter or anything, I swear ;-).

However, this year I’m going to not hate it…and the way I’m going to do that is to talk about how great I am as an aunt and go ahead and call myself an honorary mother. How’s that for obnoxious?
This won’t be long…just a list of why I feel like Mother’s Day can be about me, too. 🙂
In my 16 years of being an aunt I have:
  • Helped take care of a number of newborns and/or their siblings
  • Changed enough poopy diapers to have at least one small child of my own
  • Helped with potty training – including cleaning poop out of underwear…my favorite
  • Been spit-up on, puked on, peed on, and pooped on…multiple times
  • Spent more than a few nights with a child sleeping next to me or on me…while I was not sleeping very much
  • Attended all but one first birthday party (and that was only because I was living in France on my mission)
  • Made a number of birthday cakes/invitations
  • And finally, if I were to add up all the hours I’ve spent watching my seven little munchkins (yes…I’m reserving the right to continue to call them all munchkins even though one is now 16), I would say I probably have a two-year-old
I realize that you mothers out there will all say that you couldn’t love anyone more than your own child and perhaps someday I will have my own children and agree, but I will say that, for today, I can’t imagine loving anyone more than my nieces and nephews.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

P.S. In case you wanted to know I spent my day watching my niece and nephew while my brother-in-law cleaned the house and my sister slept (she works nights) and then we had a lovely sushi dinner. I only wish that all of you mothers out there were lucky enough to have a sister like me. 😉

post-grad fun!

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Just some girls having a good time on a little post-grad road trip. We didn’t take enough pictures…because we were too busy having fun! First stop was Mesquite, NV (a poor man’s Vegas). We played bingo. We slept…which, if you’ve ever been through an MBA program you know, is a big deal. We lounged by the pool. Then it was on to Las Vegas. We enjoyed the luxury that was our suite at the Venetian. Relaxed in the beautiful Italian Garden hot tubs. Spent a little money at all of the fabulous outlets…including Coach (my new purse is classically beautiful and navy blue). And I finally got to see a Cirque de Soleil show; Mystere. It was a fantastic trip! Hopefully we’ll do it again soon!!!