existential dilemmas

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. – Kierkegaard

best advice

Posted on April 11, 2011 by chloe elizabeth

My life has been utterly boring this week…which was a nice break. The only real excitement has been the dog-sitting, which is still going on. And while really like the dog and it has been fun, I have realized that until I have a yard, there will be no dog. Or until I have enough money for two dogs and a dog walker. It’s fun to have a dog around and to have a reason to go for a walk. That said, I do not love having to come home right after work (I know I don’t have to…she’s five years old and well trained…but I feel guilty leaving her all day and not getting home as soon as I can) or having to get up 15 minutes earlier every morning to walk her.

So, it turns out that my coworker’s advice was right on point. Try the dog for a week and see. I could picture coming home from work and having to walk the dog, but actually doing it, not as fun as it sounded. Additionally, no matter how clean a dog is, when you have an apartment as small as mine, there’s no way it can not smell like dog. Wasn’t prepared for that.

Adventures in dog ownership end on Tuesday. I’m sure I’ll feel a little lonely…but it will be nice to have my life back.

adventures in dog sitting

Posted on April 5, 2011 by chloe elizabeth

Okay, so I’ve wanted to get a dog for a while. I get mixed reactions from people. Some people say, “Go for it.” Others say, “Why would you want to tie yourself down?” The most helpful reaction I got was from my coworker who has a dog. She said, “I love my dog, but before you get one, you should try dog sitting and see how it goes. I’d even volunteer my dog.”

As luck would have it, my coworker is heading to London tomorrow and, while she would normally take her dog out to NJ for her mom to watch, she volunteered her dog to me. And so, I am now the dog-sitting for the next seven days…in an attempt to try it out. So far so good (it’s been about an hour). I have to admit, I’m kind of already loving the idea of having a dog. Of course, someone else’s dog is not the same as having your own (I am definitely not her person), but she is a cute little thing and I think we are going to have lots of fun.

12 miles in central park

Posted on March 7, 2011 by chloe elizabeth

I knew all week that I needed to run 12 miles on Saturday. I was planning for it. I scheduled my Friday evening so I could get plenty of sleep. And that would have worked if not for a phone call from my dear sister. Sometimes family really must come first. So, I didn’t get home or in bed as early as I had hoped. Such is life.

I set my alarm as if I was going to get up early enough to run the 12 miles before I had to go to mentoring. But then, when my alarm (or maybe alarms) went off, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I kept watching the time tick on…not sleeping, but not waking, just thinking about how I should be getting up.

But I didn’t get up until I had to for mentoring. I laid in bed until almost 11 am. I never do that, but I just couldn’t get up. I was so tired. It had been a long week. And yet, I knew I was going to have to go running. So, I mentally prepared for it.

On my way to mentoring, I grabbed a banana and a bagel so I would have plenty of time to digest it before running. I knew I’d have to get out the door almost as soon as I got home, so I had to eat.

And now, a digression: it’s an interesting thing to eat when you view food as fuel rather than something to be enjoyed. Not that I didn’t enjoy the banana and bagel. I did. But I also knew that I had to eat these two things; the potassium in the banana and the carbs in the bagel would be exactly what my body needed to make it the 12 miles I was going to push it. Eating felt good. Not like something I shouldn’t be doing. Which is how I often feel when I’m eating. Even if I’m making good choices. But eating to feed my body so it can do the things I want it to do changes how I feel about food. I wish I could always eat that way. But such is not the way my body (or my emotions) work…

Back to the running. I left mentoring about 15 minutes early because I knew I wanted to run my 12 miles in Central Park and I did not want to be running after dark. There was a very small window of opportunity to make that happen.

It was a lovely day and I actually wore shorts and a short sleeve shirt. It was a little cold to start, but I warmed right up. Given my knee and how it’s been feeling, I made sure to actually stretch once I warmed up. And then I was off.

For the entire first loop (six miles) I was having debates in my head about whether I really needed to run all 12 miles. Wouldn’t nine be enough? But as I approached the end of the first loop, I knew the answer. No. Nine would not be enough. Running is 90% mental. In order to finish the 13.1 miles I will be running in two weeks, I knew I needed to know I could do 12. And so, I turned around and reversed the loop. (I couldn’t stand the thought of repeat exactly what I had just done.) The first half I pushed myself. The second half, my only goal was to keep going. And yet, somehow, I managed to do the two loops in almost the exact same amount of time.

The bad news is that my time was a bit slower than I was hoping. The good news is that the race course I will be running in two weeks is much less hilly. In fact, most of it is downhill. So, I’m thinking in the next week or so, I will put in a good push with some serious training runs, focusing on speed work, and then I will enjoy a relaxing couple of days in Vegas pre-race, and if all goes well, I should be able to cut 10 minutes off my time from last year. Here’s hoping.

dear you…inspired by a trip into jersey

Posted on February 20, 2011 by chloe elizabeth

Dear Woman I Rear-Ended,

I’m still not sure what exactly to say in response to what happened today. I’m not talking about the accident. I know why I hit you. It’s my one driving downfall and is to blame for almost every one of my accidents. It comes from being an aggressive driver. I don’t want to slow traffic down to merge onto a freeway, so as soon as I see the car in front of me start moving, I assume it is going to keep moving…and when I turn my head to check traffic so I can merge…well, you can see how that would be problematic if the car in front of me decides to stop. Again, not what has me speechless.

What I can’t wrap my head around is the fact that when you go out of your car to yell at me, it was only to yell at me. And then you proceeded to get back in your car and drive away. I mean, I hit your car. I hit it. My fault. And you were the one running. So strange. Kelly and I were completely dumbfounded.

Sincerely,

A girl who is assuming that you’re driving around without car insurance/a valid license and/or current registration…what other explanation could there be?

Dear ZipCar,

Thanks for making the whole process of dealing with the accident relatively painless. Hopefully, you won’t decide I can’t rent from you anymore, although I wouldn’t blame you if you did. That said, seriously, the accident was super minor AND while it was my fault, I would like to use the previous letter as evidence that the woman I hit was crazy and therefore, I think the blame can be shared.

My apologies,

Chloe

Dear Nordstrom,

Thank you for being so close to IKEA. Kelly will tell you that I was more than a little excited when I saw your name on the side of the mall. And thank you for having such wonderful customer service. When my Uggs ripped a couple of weeks ago after only having purchased them in December, I knew that if I could just wait until I was back to Utah (by a Nordstrom, with a car) you would exchange my shoes. Since I wasn’t planning on visiting you in NJ, it was just by chance that I was wearing said Uggs, and I definitely did not have a receipt with me. And yet, I knew that there would be no problems with exchanging them. And I was not disappointed.

Sincerely,

A girl who wishes every company had the same commitment to customer service

Dear Crazy Lady in the Mall Parking Lot (not to be confused with the crazy lady I hit earlier),

Yes, I do realize that I was driving the wrong way up the parking lot aisle. I’m not stupid. I saw a parking space you were leaving and I knew I could just flip a quick u-turn into it. My favorite part of this little moment was the way you looked at me as if I had just run over a cat and laughed. So while, yes, I take full responsibility for my actions and recognize that you were right to judge me for going the wrong way, I also think that if this was the most shocking thing you saw all day, your life could use a little more excitement. I suggest starting with walking in a bike lane. I wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed on your first attempt at living.

Warmest regards,

A girl who is sad that you probably went home and told your husband all about the abominable behavior you witnessed in the mall parking lot

Dear New Jersey Drivers,

I realize that my judgment of you might seem a little hypocritical given the aforementioned “accident”, but I’m still going to ask a few questions. Feel free to respond as appropriate. Merging? Yielding? Signaling? Stopping? Freeway signs that are actually helpful? Your answers to these questions will help me understand what it is you think about while you should be thinking about doing these things.

Good luck,

Chloe

Dear Chili’s,

I just want you to know that, no matter how long I live in fabulous New York City, or how many Michelin rated restaurants I eat at (none…yet), I will always love you. Your thin chips and thick queso. Your delicious grilled chicken. Your molten dessert. And your free refills! Thank you for being by IKEA. Thank you for tasting the same in NJ, UT, AZ, CA, NV, etc, etc. Thank you for giving me an uneventful moment in an otherwise overly eventful day.

Many thanks,

A foodie who loves the gourmet as much as the everyday

Dear Gypsy Cab Driver,

So, you though you had the advantage because I was in Washington Heights where there just aren’t that many legit cabs available. And I was holding all of my purchases. And it was freezing and windy. Little did you know you were picking up a girl who knows how to negotiate. I know you were shocked when I asked you up front how much it was going to cost to get me to 96th and Broadway. And even more shocked when I said that was too much. And probably shocked again when I told you the second price quoted was fine, but it would be inclusive of a tip.

Thank for helping me feel like I am really becoming a New Yorker,

Chloe

nine miles

Posted on February 13, 2011 by chloe elizabeth

Let’s talk about how much I didn’t want to run this morning. And how much I didn’t want to get out of bed early enough to get my run in before mentoring. And how many times I didn’t run this week when I should have.

I should have been out the door of my apartment by 8 am. I got out of my door at 9 am. First, I couldn’t make myself get out of bed. My head hurt. My stomach was a little queasy. My knee still isn’t feeling great. Every excuse…and those excuses were almost enough. Almost.

When I finally did get out the door, I knew it was going to be rough. I was not going to have time to do any walking. And nine miles with no walking when my longest run this round of training was a six miler three weeks ago was not going to be easy. Or fun.

I warmed up on my way to Central Park. My plan was to do two laps around the Reservoir and then the six mile loop. I headed up to the Reservoir which took a little bit of time because the way up was super icy only to discover that the trail around it was basically a skating rink. Not sure why I thought it might not be, but 10 minutes into my run, I had yet to actually do any running. The minutes were ticking away. New plan: the six mile Central Park Loop and then I’d figure it out. I had six miles to think about it. Plenty of time.

The first three miles of the run were great. I was pacing a little faster than I had anticipated. Nothing was hurting. It wasn’t too cold. And then, when I hit mile four and had yet to see a street vendor with water, I started to worry a little. I hadn’t brought any water with me, just money, because there are always street vendors and that way I don’t have to carry it. But, just as I was thinking I would have to take a little detour to find a bodega, I saw a vendor on the horizon. I took a quick break to buy water and then allowed myself a little walking time to drink some and down two Shot Blocks. And then, I was off again.

The rest of the loop went off without a hitch. I mean, there were a couple of hills that made me want to scream and, at one point, I thought I was going to puke (too much water too fast), but then everything balanced out and I was fine. I decided I would just do the last three miles on CPW, so when I finished the loop, I headed south again. I was amazed to discover that I was still pacing at my goal pace. Mile seven was quick. Mile eight my feet were starting to hurt, so I allowed myself to walk a quarter of it. And then, I was back running for the last mile.

I cooled down on my way home. Because of my late start, I was only going to have 30 minutes to shower and get out the door–no time to eat, which is never a good idea after running that distance–so I grabbed a chocolate milk on my way home and chugged it. Some of you might think that’s weird (I did too the first time it was given out at the end of a race), but it really is a perfect recovery drink; carbs, protein, a little fat…exactly what I needed.

I got home and discovered the pain in my feet was a result of a couple of blisters. With no time to deal with those, I was grateful for my oh-so-comfy Uggs to throw on. I rushed out the door to get to mentoring, only to discover that my trains weren’t running…so I ended up being an hour late anyway. It’s a good thing I didn’t know that my trains weren’t going to be running, or I probably wouldn’t have gone running, but I’m so glad I did.

I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again. There is nothing like running that helps me forget all my stupid drama, all of body issues, and just appreciate how great my life is. And I just don’t think that starting my Saturday mornings with a run through Central Park will ever get old. Seriously. What a fun life I have!

Today’s top songs:

Dancing in Heaven – Q-Feel
Stereo Love – Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina
Alors on danse – Stromae
Teenage Dream – Glee Cast
Feel It In My Bones (feat. Tegan and Sara) – Tiesto
Not Broken – Goo Goo Dolls
Sick – The Lovemakers
Mercy – Duffy
Superstar (feat. Matthew Santos) – Lupe Fiasco
S&M – Rihanna (p.s. in case you didn’t get it from the title, this song is super trashy)
I Like It (feat. Pitbull) – Enrique Iglesia
Lollipop (Candyman) – Aqua

My goal for next week: following my training schedule every day but Wednesday. (I’m going to see Ian Axel that night with Kelly…working out is not going to happen…unless I somehow manage to get up really early, which I’m not planning on doing.)