intimidation

The first book club I went to was in December. I hadn’t ever been before and, while I had met most of these women once, I was a little intimidated. It’s interesting how our insecurities play out in our head. These women are amazing. I read their blogs and just think, “Wow, I wish I was that crafty,” or “If only I could write stories in such a captivating way,” or “How would it be to take such great pictures?”

Another thing with reading about someone on a blog before you really get to know them is that you forget that these are real women who have real flaws (I’m sure) and real insecurities of their own. I often find myself thinking, “Why would these women want to be friends with me? Obviously their lives are amazing and fulfilling already. What could I possibly add?” I sure love being female and forever aware of what people are thinking about me (or what I think they are thinking about me)!

Even though I had been once, and I was really excited for last night (so excited that I went even though I hadn’t finished The Thirteenth Tale which, thankfully, is so very complicated, in a good way, that the evening didn’t completely ruin the book for me), that excitement had not alleviated the apprehension that I still felt about how amazing these women are. And then, the most minor thing happened when I walked in the door. One of these wonderful women turned to me and said, “Oh, you’re here on time. I thought you said you were going to be late.” This one interaction made me feel like I belonged. It meant that, when I sent a response to the email about book club, saying I would likely be late due to a prior engagement, this woman had paid attention and cared and remembered.

13 thoughts on “intimidation

  1. I love this! Blog personas vs. real-life people is something I think about from time to time. As in, would somebody who reads my blog like me if they met me in person? And how well can we really know each other from our blogs? How much do we censor ourselves in order to put our best selves forward? Interesting food for thought. And most of all, I love how that one tiny interaction put you at ease.

  2. I think I enjoy book club more each time too. I love hearing what everyone has to say… we all seem like strong opinion kind of gals.

  3. I love it when you come to book club! So I’m glad you came even though you hadn’t read. The first few meetings there were only a handful of us, so it really has been so nice to grow into a comfortable size and hear everyone’s interesting opinions and stories. I just love book club.

  4. isn’t it amazing how much we idealize each other’s lives? i’ve talked so many times with my friends about that. thanks for the reminder that we are all human and all in it together!

  5. man, i need to move to utah. but then, i’d be too intimidated to show up. so i’d just be stalking via the blogs like i do now. 🙂 i’m glad you felt like you belonged! the blogging world is funny- it throws all kinds of people together and i really like it- even though, i too, am constantly wondering what people’s lives are REALLY like. it’s like the real world theme runs through my head every time i read a blog. 🙂

  6. Last night was most excellent- I am so glad you have started to come more and you just fit in oh so well. We all do- the group is just right. It feels unique that we all have evolved so quickly and can all have so much to say- but with the shortcut that blogs are, it isn’t super surprising to me.

  7. BBC 4ever! 🙂 I really look forward to the monthly BBC chats. I love watching the conversation rev up during the night until we all have so much to say we can’t stop! I was so riled up last night my head didn’t hit the pillow until 2:30 am. Crazy, I know, but it’s worth it!Et en Mars, on va le faire FRENCHIE STYLE!

  8. A blogger book club–perfect! I can’t wait to read The Thirteenth Tale–are you liking it so far? I know what you mean about meeting people in 3D…I’m thinking of meeting up with a bunch of ladies from the blogging world during Women’s Conference, and I’m a tad nervous about being me.

  9. I’m glad you felt like you belonged–that makes all the difference. I’m constantly wondering too what people think–like the world revolves around me–HA! (You mean it doesn’t?)I wish I was in a book club, most of my FIRL aren’t readers. I thoroughly enjoyed The Thirteenth Tale. Good read.

  10. Really I’m not that amazing, jk. I’m glad you came, you ended up as the center of attention, I really enjoyed all your fun stories of crazy friends and the like. It’s a fun group, I’m starting to feel comfortable and get to know people too.

  11. I love my book club. Granted it’s with 5 of my best friends so we spend just as much time gossiping as we do discussing the book. But, never fail I always feel smarter for having been there and it keeps my reading.Don’t you love feeling important?! My favorite is finding out that people actually do know my name and don’t hate me. Why I automatically assume that people don’t know my name and hate me is beyond me. You’re not alone in this.

  12. Awwww! It is turning out to be a good group, isn’t it? I think it’s unique in that several of us didn’t have much of a connection to the group, other than reading about it on a blog. I totally felt like I was throwing myself at people. Hey! I read! Can I come?!But, the group dynamics have evolved so quickly that it’s something I feel a member of and not just an attendee (which I totally felt the first couple of times). I’m glad you’re arrived. You make it that much better.

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