random thoughts at 3 am

Really, I have 25 posts floating in my head…but I don’t have time to fully develop any of them, so here are some random thoughts.

  1. I am pretty direct and sometimes I don’t think people know how to deal with it. I don’t believe in agreeing with someone just to be agreeable. I don’t believe in telling someone that something is “fine” if it isn’t. I don’t believe that I “have” to be friends with anyone. And I think if people are going to ask how I’m doing, they should actually want to know because I am actually going to tell them. What it boils down to is sincerity. I try to be sincere. And sometimes, I sincerely offend people.
  2. Writing essays for grad school makes me feel totally inadequate and relatively stupid…not something I’m used to. Yes, the truth is, I generally think I’m not just adequate, but quite accomplished, and I rarely feel stupid. Oh, back to number 1, I don’t believe in false modesty.
  3. I love meeting new people…in small groups. I love getting to know them. I love learning about them. And I love when I get to do this while eating delicious food at a restaurant I’ve never been to. That was my evening tonight. I went to The Dodo with Laralee, Dana, and Denise. The company and food were fantastic.
  4. I don’t love most things about snow, but there is one thing I do love. I love how, at night, the world is so quiet. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the chance to stand outside at night in the snow, but I love it. I could stand for hours just listening to the silence.
  5. While I understand the economics of a dollar movie, I cannot understand the disgustingness (yes, it’s not a word) of the dollar theater. So gross. The thing is, being economical (or poor enough that you can’t afford normal movies…which is about where I am these days) is no excuse for throwing your popcorn on the ground, or letting your children run around barefoot, or not flushing a toilet. And do they pay their employees way less, so they don’t expect them to wipe off counters, clean bathrooms, and sweep the theater. I just don’t understand.
  6. Sarah and I met Dan Keys last night. If you have no idea who that is, he is the lead singer of Young Love. I love YL and I love Dan Keys. Young Love was the opener for the opener for Say Anything. We pretty much just went to hear Young Love. We left right after they played, but not before heading to the merch table to say hi (and swoon just a little). I’m sorry, but he is just super sexy. And tall. And his voice makes me melt. Here are my two favorite songs (in acoustic form) off of their self-titled album.
  7. I talk a lot. Sometimes I feel like I totally monopolize conversations. And sometimes I know I’m doing it and just can’t seem to stop myself. Why is that? Why can’t I shut up?
  8. Sarah and I will be singing at Big Shot Karaoke on Thursday. This should be a good time.
  9. Sometimes, I worry about things over which I have no control. Well, maybe not worry, but I definitely think about them. A lot. And often. I wish I could stop doing that.
  10. I have really, really weird dreams when I take naps. I think that’s part of the reason I don’t really like taking naps. And often, those weird dreams involve scenarios that allow me to act out my deep seeded, almost subconscious, desires to tell someone off. They make me feel like a bad person.
  11. Even though, colloquially, it’s common to end a sentence with a preposition, I have a really hard time doing it, even when not doing it means that I sound super formal and kind of geeky.
  12. I should really go to bed because I really am tired. I just don’t want to. And do you know why I don’t want to? Because I don’t want to wash and moisturize my face or brush and floss my teeth or brush my retainer and put it in my mouth. (Yes, I still wear a retainer at 29…my dad paid good money for my teeth, I’m not about to let them move.) I hate getting ready for bed. Hate it. But I can’t sleep if I don’t do the full routine…except the retainer part. This is a struggle every night. How dumb is that?
  13. On Wednesday, I was supposed to take my French midterm. I didn’t feel ready, so I asked for extra time. Ask me how much I’ve studied? I bet you can guess.
  14. I love Christmas music. My favorite to listen to is David Lanz’s album, Christmas Eve. However, I also love singing Christmas music. I know it’s only October, but in preparation for the season, here’s my favorite David Lanz song, Angels We Have Heard on High, and here I am singing (along with 350 other people) The First Noel and Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.
  15. Just about the only thing I miss about my undergrad experience…singing. There is nothing like singing in a huge choir, especially a capella . And it’s something that you can’t just throw together, you know, huge numbers of people who can sing in tune. I still sing, but it is not the same. I wish I could explain it. But, since I can’t, I’ll just share one more song with you. Since it’s Sunday, here’s one of my most favorite hymns, Where Can I Turn for Peace?
  16. Tomorrow (well, today) we are having a little friends’ dinner. Soup in bread bowls, salad and miniature pumpkin cheesecakes with cinnamon crusts. I’m so excited. ETA – in case anyone thinks I never mess up cooking, I totally over baked both the crust and the cheesecake. I’ll take some pictures so you can see what happens if you over bake cheesecake. It’s ugly. The good news is, neither event has ruined the taste (perhaps the texture is a little off, but not horrible).
  17. Okay…it’s time to get ready for bed. Oh the pain! It’s funny how easy it is to whine about getting ready for bed when there are so many people who don’t have the luxury of a) getting ready for bed or b) having a bed to sleep in. I hate that my mind works this way. I can never just feel sorry for myself and sometimes, I really want to.

18 thoughts on “random thoughts at 3 am

  1. I think I linked here from EK (not sure)…but wow, I really have a lot in common with you. MBA. takes me 30 minutes to get ready for bed. brutally honest and sincere. you get the picture.

  2. I’m cracking up about you wanting to feel sorry for yourself and not being able to! I love to sing too and miss being in a singing group. A cappella is my favorite as well. I don’t know David Lanz, so now I have a new Christmas album to check out!

  3. and i’m watching the bachelor right now… next week you have to come over so we can watch it together again, ok 😉

  4. I wish I could have seen you guys at the DoDo. You have funny thoughts at 3 AM. I hope you get some sleep though:)

  5. Woman! What are you doing up at 3am?? I guess you answered that. I hate the bedtime routine too.And Christmas music? I have to try and not irritate everyone around me with year-round Christmas tunes. I’ve learned to show a little restraint, but I decided this weekend that it is time now :o)

  6. OOH! The Wo’s of being a girl- I think every girl hates getting ready for bed. ( I guess the only girls who wear makeup) But I sometimes just go to bed without washing my face and on and on…Anyways-You are so cute! I think we all need to do something soon.

  7. I love the list. And good job for wearing your retainers still. I finally quit a couple of years ago and totally regret it!!!

  8. So, I play the piano in RS every Sun. Today, I was flipping through during prelude and was tempted to bust out with some Christmas songs. Didn’t, but reading this. . . . maybe next time I will. Also, I was laughing that you had the nerve to post at 3am. Garrett makes fun of me, because once I am past the point of exhaustion I go from one subject to the next with no connection between anything I am saying. (I mean this in a good way) I loved your random thoughts, and it is comforting to hear it come from someone else!!!

  9. I’m so glad someone else in the world is already listening to Christmas music…I usually get all jazzed up for it mid-October every year. I can’t stand to listen to it only in December–it’s too beautiful, and I have too much of it!And I do know the Lynns! One of the first families to make me feel at home here in Ohio.

  10. All I have to say is AMEN about the Dollor Movies being DISGUSTING! I feel like I have to go straight home to shower and wash my clothes. Robb and my brother think I am nuts, but it really does make me feel icky.

  11. I LOVE the Dodo…I’m glad you went! Did you eat the smoked turkey sandwich and Toll House pie? MMMM…Toll House pie…

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