I love music! I know I’ve shared this many, many times. Music packs so many emotions with it, and then you combine it with memories that correspond to different music phases in your life (at least in my life) and you have a very powerful combination. Certain songs can instantly transform my mood and transport me to a different place.
This weekend, as I was writing essays (pre-mental breakdown…which, by the way, is much better), I was listening to music, as I am wont to do at any given minute of any day. Rascal Flatts just came out with a new album and I happened to be listening to that. Yes, I am a music lover who likes it all, including country…and my snobby music friends still like me (yes…I just called you snobby). While, obviously the album is new and I am creating new memories with it, it is very similar to their first album (thank goodness…I did not love the last one).
While listening I had, what I call, a musical memory flashback. There are certain songs that I can guarantee will do that for me. This was a little different because it was new music, but Rascal Flatts’ first album was a favorite while I was involved with The Canadian and this new album brought back those memories.
I loved The Canadian. Even better than how I felt about him was how he made me feel about me. He was probably the kindest of all the boys (always boys…maybe when I’m 30 I’ll start calling them “men” or at least “guys”) with whom I have ever been involved. He made me feel like a Pulitzer Prize winning super model/goddess. So much kindness and love and respect.
For a while, after things ended between us and I had moved on to different, less kind boys, I somehow bought into this weird belief that the only reason The Canadian treated me so well and said such nice things to me was that I was a little out of his league, that being involved with someone in my league* meant I would feel “just good enough” all the time. Sometimes my head gets filled with crazy notions that take a while to dispel.
Back to Saturday…so I was listening to the new album, this song in particular, and I started to feel all of these happy feelings. I thought about this fling of sorts. I started to think about The Canadian and how he made me feel. I thought about how integral that relationship was in my life. It is the relationship by which I have determined (as of Saturday) to judge all others, in terms of kindness and respect. It is nice to have such wonderful memories fill my soul with just the sound of a song. It is nice to realize that I deserve to be with someone who makes me feel that good. And to realize that I always want the person I am with to feel as good as The Canadian made me feel. And all of that from a song. That is the power of music.
*I am not really a believer in “leagues”…I have decided to subscribe to the “comfort” theory. I think you should always feel “comfortable” with the person you are with. If you are out with the Significant Other and his/her friends, you should not feel above or below them, and if you bring the S.O. out with your friends, if you are constantly worried about how everyone will interact, that’s a bad sign, as well. You have chosen your friends for a reason…the S.O. should fit in with them. And that’s how I feel about that.
existential dilemmas 
Like I said last night, being a nice guy goes a long way. Unless you’re like that dude from karaoke last night–while he was saying nice things…he was creepy. BUT boys that you like who are nice? Doesn’t get better than that.And I know what you mean about song flashbacks…
oh- and though I don’t fully subscribe to the theory of leagues I do think there may be some truth to the concept.for example, you are clearly out of my league. It’s not a bad thing (and it doesn’t mean I don’t think highly of myself) it’s just the way things are.
Well, I don’t think most music snobs have a hatred of country music, or even country western music. It’s just… Rascal Flats? But- if you like music it really doesn’t matter who else likes it. And, It’s always nice to have music that makes you feel good and feel happy, even if you know it isn’t “good”.But- if you like country you should really check out the song posted on Sherpa’s blog today it really is lovely. Plus, you should also go see Hillbilly Fever because Michael Brooks has a stage presence like few other people I’ve seen. Utahns doesn’t know how lucky they are to have him playing there so regularly.
I’m a little too moved by music, I think. It takes me to places if I’ve listened to it before, and makes new places whatever I listen to. So, if good things are happening, I tend to like the music, and unfortunately the bad times takes a lot of music with it.I’m glad that you are able to find comfort in music. It is a power.
I never say men, either.As always- great post.
That sounds like a good standard by which to judge the guys who come your way. Here is one of my current favorite quotes:”Home should be the center of one’s earthly experience, where love & mutual respect are appropriately blended.” -Elder L. Tom Perry, Ensign Nov. 2002Your description in your post reminded me of that quote. It’s a goodie.