No, I didn’t use the wrong verb in the title. Initially I wrote “through”, but then I started thinking about it. Have I ever mentioned how much I love words? Anyway, you all know that I am all about blogging, but I have been super stressed out this week. I basically had a mental breakdown that started on Sunday and lasted until…well, it’s still going. I think the essays triggered it, and then my impending 30th birthday added to it, and PMS exacerbated the emotions. It has not been a fun three days…for me or anyone who is in my immediate circle of influence.
Back to the title. I have been trying to be “grateful” in an effort to get out of this crazy funk. So, I have started to notice blessings and that has been like sun through the clouds. But then, as I was thinking about the words “through” and “threw”, I got this visual image of a happy sunshine – you know, like the Raisin Bran sunshine – taking out “Gus”…the name our family has so affectionately given the cloud that seems to hang over one of us (namely Erika) at any given time. It made me laugh, which I needed. And so, I changed the title.
And now, the real point of this post. Here are the blessings that have helped little rays of sunshine come through my clouds:
- I have an amazing family. The type of family that is always there for you. I can call up any one of my four siblings (or in some cases, a spouse) and I know that I will get the encouragement and sound advice I need. We were all taught by the same mother that “it always works out”, so when I lose sight of that, my siblings are there to remind me.
- I don’t worry about where I’m going to sleep, or where my next meal will come from, or whether I will be killed by rebel forces. I know that last one sounds random, but I started to do some work for a new NGO called Sowers of Hope and while discussing the goals of the organization, namely to provide funding to a school in Congo, I realized just how blessed I am.
- And, moving on to more shallow things…yes, I do realize that the fact that I can mention how grateful I am that I am not an orphan in Congo in one statement, and in the next one say what I’m about to say is a bit disturbing, but I am a bit disturbed…I have been blessed with fantastic hair (and a great stylist…thanks Laura). I got my hair colored and cut last night and it looks so great (I’ll post a picture once my camera battery is recharged). And let’s be honest, there’s nothing like a great haircut to make you smile.
- While the grad school application process is incredibly grueling and tedious, it has helped me to really examine what I want and why I’m doing this. It has also made me realize that, while I know that I would be a great MBA student, that it’s possible that not every school is going to think so. So, why am I grateful for that? Because I have now established two very good, very exciting backup plans. And backup plans are a very good thing.
- I have options. Lots and lots of options.
- I ran a marathon! Yes, I am going to milk that one for all it’s worth.
- I have very, very exciting birthday plans. Secret plans. Plans that will result in something being crossed off “The List”.
- I have amazing friends. Friends who are probably sick of me whining about my worries and woes, but who listen patiently. Blogging friends who I don’t “know” technically, but who are willing to read essays and correct them, just to be nice. Friends who offer to do anything to help, even if it’s just bringing me ice-cream.
- While my job is not exactly what I would call fulfilling, I get to work with some very fun, very kind, very sassy people, and that makes everyday enjoyable. And I have a fish name Stanley who shares my desk and makes me smile.
- I’m currently in a “drinking Diet Coke” phase, which also makes me happy.
- Despite all of the stress and craziness, I still have an amazing social life.
- At the end of the day, I have perspective. And perspective, like possession, is 9/10 of the law.