the sun threw the clouds

No, I didn’t use the wrong verb in the title. Initially I wrote “through”, but then I started thinking about it. Have I ever mentioned how much I love words? Anyway, you all know that I am all about blogging, but I have been super stressed out this week. I basically had a mental breakdown that started on Sunday and lasted until…well, it’s still going. I think the essays triggered it, and then my impending 30th birthday added to it, and PMS exacerbated the emotions. It has not been a fun three days…for me or anyone who is in my immediate circle of influence.

Back to the title. I have been trying to be “grateful” in an effort to get out of this crazy funk. So, I have started to notice blessings and that has been like sun through the clouds. But then, as I was thinking about the words “through” and “threw”, I got this visual image of a happy sunshine – you know, like the Raisin Bran sunshine – taking out “Gus”…the name our family has so affectionately given the cloud that seems to hang over one of us (namely Erika) at any given time. It made me laugh, which I needed. And so, I changed the title.

And now, the real point of this post. Here are the blessings that have helped little rays of sunshine come through my clouds:

  1. I have an amazing family. The type of family that is always there for you. I can call up any one of my four siblings (or in some cases, a spouse) and I know that I will get the encouragement and sound advice I need. We were all taught by the same mother that “it always works out”, so when I lose sight of that, my siblings are there to remind me.
  2. I don’t worry about where I’m going to sleep, or where my next meal will come from, or whether I will be killed by rebel forces. I know that last one sounds random, but I started to do some work for a new NGO called Sowers of Hope and while discussing the goals of the organization, namely to provide funding to a school in Congo, I realized just how blessed I am.
  3. And, moving on to more shallow things…yes, I do realize that the fact that I can mention how grateful I am that I am not an orphan in Congo in one statement, and in the next one say what I’m about to say is a bit disturbing, but I am a bit disturbed…I have been blessed with fantastic hair (and a great stylist…thanks Laura). I got my hair colored and cut last night and it looks so great (I’ll post a picture once my camera battery is recharged). And let’s be honest, there’s nothing like a great haircut to make you smile.
  4. While the grad school application process is incredibly grueling and tedious, it has helped me to really examine what I want and why I’m doing this. It has also made me realize that, while I know that I would be a great MBA student, that it’s possible that not every school is going to think so. So, why am I grateful for that? Because I have now established two very good, very exciting backup plans. And backup plans are a very good thing.
  5. I have options. Lots and lots of options.
  6. I ran a marathon! Yes, I am going to milk that one for all it’s worth.
  7. I have very, very exciting birthday plans. Secret plans. Plans that will result in something being crossed off “The List”.
  8. I have amazing friends. Friends who are probably sick of me whining about my worries and woes, but who listen patiently. Blogging friends who I don’t “know” technically, but who are willing to read essays and correct them, just to be nice. Friends who offer to do anything to help, even if it’s just bringing me ice-cream.
  9. While my job is not exactly what I would call fulfilling, I get to work with some very fun, very kind, very sassy people, and that makes everyday enjoyable. And I have a fish name Stanley who shares my desk and makes me smile.
  10. I’m currently in a “drinking Diet Coke” phase, which also makes me happy.
  11. Despite all of the stress and craziness, I still have an amazing social life.
  12. At the end of the day, I have perspective. And perspective, like possession, is 9/10 of the law.

18 thoughts on “the sun threw the clouds

  1. Yes on the gratitude list! That always helps me to chase away the clouds (when I remember to do it). And good hair, that always makes me feel better! (Sadly, good hair is not an everyday occurrence around here.) Perspective, what a wonderful thing to find.

  2. If I could get my hair done professionally every day, I’d be all about that. Great, positive post in the face of a bad week. You’re a lucky lady in so many ways. (And belated congratulations on the marathon)

  3. Chloe, I love it! There really is something about someone else shampooing, cutting and styling your hair for you. And, I think diet coke (or pepsi for me) bumps up any day a few notches. And, lastly I loves your gratitude lists. I think we need to do it more often. I had to change my blog address. . . long story. . .

  4. I can so empathize with you as we’re right there now with Jacob’s med school essay. Not to take away from your misery, of course, since we have just one essay to write. I just told Jacob we had to stop for tonight because I was out of adjectives. Fresh out. But I sure like your plucky attitude, young lady! 🙂 (And I do mean young.)

  5. Great post! I’ve been waging my own emotional battles lately, and I find that good hair and a diet Coke can often make life seem a little better.

  6. Chloe, that is a great list. And I have to agree with the fact that you have great hair. I remember it always being so long and thick and smooth. Mine is thin and stringy. You’re lucky. I hope Gus blows away soon. I should name my cloud… somehow that makes it seem less serious!

  7. I like your list so much! Can’t wait to hear what gets crossed off your life list. You are so right about good hair, it makes all the difference. Diet Coke is powerful and makes me happy too. I like your possession of your perspective–clever!!Stanley is kinda cute. 🙂

  8. It is always good to make a list of blessings, cuz then you are able to allow more to come into your life! Can’t wait to see the new “do”!!

  9. I love when I remember to do a gratitude list when I am having a rough time. I loved reading yours, it made me smile to see all of the good you are choosing to see in your life…

  10. Hey Chloe, I loved your last post. I hope you don’t mind me reading your blog. It is so cool that you did a marathon. How is alicia and all your family? Did i see that see had and blessed a baby recently? I hope all is well with her little family and tell her I said hello if you get the chance. thanks- Stacy

  11. I was looking at your list trying to figure out what you are going to cross off for your 30th birthday. Are you going to do humanitarian work in a third world country and have babies on your birthday? You crazy kid!

  12. Your Stanley looks much like our buddy, Liam. One of the first things I do each morning (besides wiping milk from my chin as I sloppily eat my “cereal of the week”)…is say “morn’n Liam”….still waiting for him to answer.

  13. Oh I hear you, sista. Are you sure Gus doesn’t have an evil twin that’s hanging out above MY house?! I loved this post and sorry about the funk. 30 can do that do a girl. I asked you a question on my blog today; does that make me a hardcore stalker or just a silly stalker?

  14. I love your title and totally laughed when I read it!Making gratitude lists when I am feeling in the funk always helps me gain perspective. And I totally agree that it IS 9/10 of the law. Good perspective is a beautiful thing. Can’t wait to see what your big birthday plans are…looking at your list I have a few guesses.Oh and totally random…but do you know if your hair stylist Laura is or used to be in karate? I swear I used to train with her…she looks so familiar!

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