dear you…inspired by my trip to SF

Dear nice guy who sat next to me on my flight from SLC to OAK,

Normally, I’m not a huge fan of talking on planes. I like my “alone” time, which is why I always get a window seat and why I generally look away from anyone who sits next to me. I just like to read my books, listen to my music, do my thing. But you were so nice and so friendly and I really enjoyed talking to you, so much so that I thought twice about keeping to myself on my flight home. And you told such good stories and made me feel so good about being 29 and single. Thanks for a great conversation. And, because we started talking before the plane was entirely boarded, no one sat between us, which meant I had more leg room. It was fantastic!


Your row mate

Dear Happy Donuts,

Thank you for being open 24 hours so that, when Erika picked me up late and I didn’t get to go to Fenton’s, I was still able to enjoy a delicious treat. (Erika, I know it wasn’t your fault). Your donuts were delicious. And it was so fun to see all of the random people in a donut shop at 11:00 pm on a Thursday. It was fun to imagine who they were and what their lives were like, especially the table of guys speaking French. Why is it that any guy speaking French can make me weak in the knees? Especially when he’s native? So hot!

Back to you, Happy Donuts. I was so grateful, but then I just craved you. I couldn’t stop thinking of you. It was bad. Maybe 24 hours isn’t such a good idea. And when I’m cursing you on Thursday, remember that I don’t really mean it.

Missing you dearly,


Dear Bay Area,

Why must you really be the perfect place to live? Why must all of the housing options be so expensive? Why must your climate make me so happy? Why does your air smell sweeter and your sun shine more beautifully than any place on earth (except maybe Tuscany…but I don’t speak Italian, so I’m not planning on moving there)? Why do you have to make me hate where I live every time I visit you? Why does my heart flutter at just the thought of your two beautiful bridges? Why? Why? Why? Why? Everything is better in San Francisco. Everything!

I’m sad.


Dear guys who still travel in threes in their mid-thirties,

Really? You are how old? I was reminded of Draco Malfoy and his two sidekicks. Two less attractive, not as intelligent side kicks. Here’s the thing…Mr. Frontman is generally attractive and charismatic, but you two wingmen…not so much. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t be attracted to you, except that the fact that you are all about being a wingman makes you so not appealing. Do you just hang out, hoping to get Frontman’s toss-offs? Do you think that hanging out with Frontman makes you more appealing? Do you realize just how reminiscent of high school your little posse appears? Could you please just grow up already? I’m sure you are very nice, but don’t you get tired of all the girls going for Frontman? Don’t you want girls that want you? I so wish I understood. Can someone help me to understand? Please.


A girl who, while somewhat socially inept in large groups, at least tries to appear approachable

Dear MBA grad who went to my first choice school,

If I got nothing else out of this weekend other than my conversation with you it was totally worth it. Thanks for being so honest about your experience at said school. It has given me a lot to think about. I have totally revamped my choices as a result of our conversation and the thoughts you shared. I’m still applying to choice number 1, but if I get in (and it’s possible I won’t, although you also made me feel better about that), I will think long and hard before I make my choice. And you were attractive and so interesting to talk to…if only you hadn’t been in your 40s…I just can’t bridge two decades.


A prospective MBA student who appreciates any insight from an experienced source

Dear Palo Alto,

It’s really too bad that Stanford is so very selective and that recruiters don’t like it, or I might consider applying and I might get in. As it stands, I am not applying and will not, therefore, get rejected. But if you had a different school, oh how I would love to live in your beautiful city. Such a great place. Such beautiful homes, old money homes. Such a large population of brilliant minds. Such beautiful green hills. Oh how I do love you! Perhaps someday. Although, let’s be honest. If I end up back in California (which I hope to) I will probably be working in SF and living there, as well, since it’s about the same cost of living. But, if you had a school I wanted to attend and could get into, I would do it. In a heartbeat. As it is, I’ll be applying to the school across the bay, and I like that town, too.


A girl who really messed up her undergrad

Dear guy from Las Vegas,

Just a little thought…Desperation does not smell good.


Dear Shannon Hale,

Thanks for writing such a great book. It was a bit of a slow start, but I loved it. So cute. So romantic. So sweet and clean. Just the way a fairytale should be. And it was so well written…I have discovered some new favorite quotes and that is a big deal.


A hopeless romantic

Dear Chloe,

Remember that even though this weekend was less than ideal and you seem to have no prospects, you are so glad that you aren’t married. You made the right choice. Sure, life isn’t going to be a fairytale, but you deserve to fall in love with someone wonderful, who makes you feel good about yourself and doesn’t make you defend your feelings/thoughts/decisions all the time, and someone who makes you laugh and can have a great conversation and shares a mutual attraction. And if your story could turn out just a bit like a good book, that would be nice, too…although you don’t need to hold out for that if you meet Mr. Perfect For You. And don’t get so set on your plans and goals that you aren’t willing to shift just a bit.



14 thoughts on “dear you…inspired by my trip to SF

  1. Chloe, I’m a new commenter. I’ve been entertained by you for a couple months now (thru a friend blogger). Anyways, my favorite part of this post was the last part to yourself. I’m 33 & just married for 3 weeks tomorrow. I lived in the bay area (I LOVE it as much as you do!) for a LONG time going to all those singles activies & wondering when I was going to find my “Mr Perfect”. I held out thru quite a few & he ended up finding me 500 miles away from San Francisco. I couldn’t be happier with my life until now. It made me exactly me & exactly what made my husband fall in love. I love that you are making the most of your single life, albeit frustrating at times. But it will all pay off when you DON’T settle. Long rant, I know, but I just had to give you my thoughts. Your blog provokes alot of good ones. A new friend? Kymp.s. we honeymooned in S.F. so we can keep going back there forever even if we don’t settle there someday!

  2. i love these posts- how fun that you got to take a trip! amen to not settling for a guy who isn’t worth your time! πŸ™‚

  3. you’ve just inspired me to read goose girl (even tho i’ve already heard from a bunch of sources that it’s good). also… your last letter is my fav. sometimes we do have to remind ourselve why our life is so much better than “what could have been”

  4. sounds like you had a great trip and gave you lots to think about. i like those kinds of trips :)two requests:show us more pics!send me a san fran list!and it sounds like i might have to borrow that book. so i guess that is really three requests πŸ˜‰

  5. Janssen – I went back and added the link, but it was The Goose Girl.Tristan – the guy was not single (nor LDS) and I have added the link to Fenton’s. I’m sad no one’s told you about it. It’s the best ice-cream ever.Mike – I’m all about being myself.Lilcis – That’s one of the schools I’ve added to the list (UCLA).

  6. Are you considering any Southern California MBA programs? I’m getting mine from Cal State Long Beach (which I wouldn’t recommend for you, since it’s definitely not up to your caliber) but I hear UCLA and USC have some really good programs. Plus, LA is an excellent place for intellegent, beautiful, single mormon girls over the age of 25.

  7. I rarely travel…but when I do I’d like to have good conversation with a “row-mate”. But then again, that flies right in the face of my unofficial mantra…”getting thru this life just under the radar”…(judge me by that simple line or not.) Recent flight had me sitting much like you describedMyself…empty seat…LadySupposed to take off at 415p…I was flipping thru that damn SkyMall Catalog and could sense her glancing at her watch…in the same tone I would ask Nancy….Mike: “what time we got ?”Lady: “440”…she throws in a nice eyeroll indicating it’s not 415p.Mike (In my best Phoebe Buffay voice)…”ohhh naaaooo”Lady: chucklechucklechuckleBottomline people…just be yourself in these situations. Whether it’s on a plane, in line at Starbucks..wherever ! The comfort level is dramatically increased for all…and all those around you eavesdropping πŸ™‚

  8. Glad you enjoyed your visit! I love living in the bay area! It is absolutely beautiful! Was the guy on your flight out here with the good convo single?? Did ya get some digits? πŸ˜‰ What is Fentons?

  9. I really like these kinds of posts. Which Shannon Hale book? Austenland? I read about 20 pages and then took it back to the library. Shall I plow on?

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