And here’s what you’ve all been waiting for. I know you missed my deep thoughts last weeks, so here we go.
I’m going to start with the weight loss…because that’s where the thoughts stem from. I lost 1 lb since the last time I was weighed. Two weeks ago. Not my happiest moment. But, better than a gain. And therein lies my problem.
It’s all fine and well that I can talk about how great it is to lose weight slowly, when I’m not losing it slowly. But with this average of .5 lbs/week for the last two weeks, I get to see if I’m buying what I’m selling. I think I am…but I’m not totally convinced. A few more weeks like this and I think I’ll know for sure. But as I write that, I think, “Over my dead body will I have a few more weeks like this.” Do you see my predicament? Why is it that I can cheer for my friend and her weight loss, even if it’s only .2 lbs (and be totally supportive if she gains) but if I don’t lose what I want to lose, I get very frustrated with myself.
The thing is, I can list exactly why I didn’t lose more weight, and it definitely wasn’t lack of exercise. It was Serrano’s and Hogi Yogi and mini-chocolate chips and a sweet tooth that wouldn’t go away and a lack of writing down what I had eaten. Having suffered from so many poor choices (yes, they weren’t my fault…I was suffering the peer-pressure of my sweet tooth and the menus at restaurants that called to me in low, deep, seductive tones…like that damn World Class Chocolate ice cream so many weeks ago), it’s a wonder that I lost any weight.
Okay, enough of that. Let’s talk about the positive (hey…maybe I am buying this whole “slow and steady wins the race” thing). I learned a few very valuable things over the last two weeks. Now, for those of you Diet Coke addicts, you may want to stop reading right now (or at least skip the next paragraph…ignorance is bliss).
First, you all know that I had to give up the drink. It was a sad, sad day. Although, truthfully, now that the addiction is gone (whoever says that caffeine is not a drug is WRONG), I am allowing myself the occasional DC. I’ve had two in the last week. Not bad. Okay…moving on. I really believe that DC hinders weight loss. Now, you may be thinking, “But Chloe, the weeks you were on the drink, you lost much more than these last two weeks”. And you would be correct. But…you didn’t see what I ate over the last two weeks. Between traveling, family dinners and an obsession with frozen yogurt (sure, it’s fat-free, but that doesn’t mean that consuming a quart of it a day won’t do some damage), I am truly amazed that I lost weight. I don’t know if it’s as much the Diet Coke consumption that does it, as the fact that when you are drinking DC, you are not drinking water and water plays a huge role in the losing of the poundage. Either way, I’m a believer.
Second, I really think that sleep makes a huge difference. I know that may sound weird. After all, if you’re sleeping, you’re not moving, you’re not exercising (you’re also not eating), but it seriously makes a difference. And I don’t think it’s all about the “not eating”. I’m sure there are all kinds of physiological reasons why sleep helps, but since I decided soon after that first anatomy class that I was not going to be a doctor, I do not know the reasons why. Just trust me. Get your sleep.
Third, and this is the most important truth I learned this week. I mean, I have known it in theory, but seeing as how I have never put it into practice, I had yet to see it for myself. Losing weight the slow way really does make it so you can have a “bad” week (or two) and recover from it. I know I’ve mentioned that this whole slow program is new for me (and really, I have no room to complain with an average weight loss of 2 lbs a week), and that it was going to be hard for me since starvation and laxative popping really do work so well…you know, until you DIE! But I am a believer after these two weeks.
I’m really not kidding when I tell you that I ate like a horse (do horses even eat a lot?). Between friends leaving, family gatherings and just the normal social stuff, I spent lots of time in restaurants over the last two weeks…and lots of time making treats and eating them…and lots of time enjoying whatever everyone else was eating in the portions everyone else was eating, including regular old pizza (which I don’t even like that much). I finally buckled down once I was back in P-town, but even then I wasn’t tracking like I should have been. And guess what, my body still let go of one whole pound. That is a big deal. Seven years ago, in the throws of my third (and final) bout with eating disorder manifestations (the truth is, once you have one, it really does live with you), I could never have done that. I could never have eaten everything I ate these two weeks and not gained weight. I could have never eaten everything I ate without absolutely hating myself. And I could have never eaten everything I ate without feeling like I had lost all control and just giving up.
The eating disorder mentality still lives in my head. My first reaction when I eat something “bad” is still to be upset with myself. But then I get over it. Then I think about the fact that I am human and, as such, will always enjoy a banana split (and just so you know, according to Aristotelian logic–thank you GMAT prep course–if you do not enjoy a banana split, you are not human…so good luck with that). Then I think about the fact that I have managed, in ten weeks, to lose 23 lbs without once popping a pill, starving myself, throwing up or feeling like I had to spend five hours in the gym. And that is a big deal!
Oh, and in other news (along the same vein) I had to get a suit this week for my “business trip” because one of my fabulous sisters insisted that, when presenting to the board of directors of a multi-billion dollar company, you have to have wear a suit, even if it is Washington, D.C. and it will be a gazillion degrees with 2000% humidity. The same fabulous sister also paid me in advance for services to be rendered (apparently, I’m back to being her slave when I go visit her at the end of September) so that I could afford said suit…and darling shoes. So, why do I share this here, in this post? Because I didn’t have to set one foot in the plus-size section. Not even a toe. Everything I tried on fit me. Some of it was really and truly awful and nothing I would be seen in publicly, but it all fit. Such a great feeling! And I found a fabulous suit, although it did take much searching and many phone calls to find the jacket to go with the most perfect skirt ever made, since the P-town Nordy’s didn’t have it. The skirt, top and shoes are all packed and ready for my flight this evening, and the jacket is awaiting me at the Tyson’s Corner mall, to be picked up on Saturday. Life is good!