mormon speed dating

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Do I really need to say anything else?

I spent three hours last night speed dating. I wish I had some good stories, but honestly, it was pretty fun and not especially eventful. Here’s what I will say…

  • 25 three minute dates in one night; I just met my quota for the year.
  • A little kindness goes a long way – it doesn’t matter if you are not interested in someone and you can tell that from the first moment you meet someone…there’s never an excuse to be a jerk.
  • Don’t judge a book by its cover – I was surprised by how often I was surprised by the personalities that came with the looks. Both for better and worse. I probably shouldn’t be surprised by this anymore, but I am. 
  • Three minutes can be very long…or very short.
  • There are still some really good guys out there. 

my park

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Okay, so this post is way late in coming, but I just realized that there has been a recent dearth of photos on the blog, so we will rectify that situation now. One Sunday in October, when I still had church in the afternoon, I decided to go walking in Central Park in the morning. I grabbed my camera and was off. And here is what I got to see…in my park (all pictures are as shot…part of why it took me so long to post these…I wanted to edit them).

How fun is it that I get to say that Central Park is my park? How very surreal, too? Anyway, if you ever get a chance to visit NYC, don’t just spend your time in the touristy part of the park…make your way up to the north end, my end. There is so much to see. I love it!

I know everyone loves Poets Walk in CP, but the Conservatory Garden is my favorite spot. So romantic. So European. I think my next first New York kiss shall be here…now how to facilitate that?

twists in the universe

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No, this isn’t a post about my astrological sign changing (I’m a scorpio no matter what anyone says).

I was at work on a Tuesday last month when I got a phone call from a girl I grew up with. I had run into her at church a few weeks earlier and we had chatted for a bit. They moved away from the Creek when I was about 13 (I think). Anyway, she was calling me because she had tickets to go see Rain (a Beatles tribute band on Broadway) and she was supposed to go with her brother who was in town but she wasn’t going to be able to make it, making me the only other person he knows in NYC besides his sister. And we’re the same age so we were inthe same peer group growing up. She asked me if I wanted to see it with him. Amazingly (this was pre my “no plans during the week” phase), I didn’t have plans and I thought it would be fun to hear the Beatles covered by a band who has been doing it for years, so I agreed to go.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous to see him. He was Beau. It had been at least 15 years since I’d last seen him. I got to the theater and waited outside in the freezing cold for him. His sister told me what he was wearing, but she didn’t have to. He seriously looked exactly the same, just older. We had a little bit of time before the show started, so we headed to Cosi for hot chocolate. It was seriously so weird to be standing in a Cosi in Times Square with Beau.

Here’s the thing. I knew Beau during the most painful of my adolescent years. Those horrible, awkward, tween years. The parental divorce years. Middle school, acne, braces, etc. That’s a big part of why I was nervous. It’s scary seeing someone who only remembers you from, what you consider, some of the worst years of your life. But seeing him, and talking to him, and dancing to the Beatles with him was so fun and oddly therapeutic. He told me about his crazy life (he’s basically homeless and spends his time between various countries–mainly South American ones–getting whatever kind of work he can get as needed). I told him about mine. Corporate job working for The Man, paying rent, brunching with my girlfriends. We are about as opposite as two people can get. And yet, there we were. Thrown together by some weird twist in the universe. Catching up. Laughing about our crazy childhood.

It was an oddly emotional experience; as in I had a lot of emotions. And a lot of thoughts. We’re so different, there’s no way you could even begin to compare our lives. And I think that was part of it. It was one of those moments when I felt so very content with all of my life choices. Not because they were better than his, but because they were mine. And because I am right where I have chosen to be. I’m not here by default. I saw what I wanted and I went after it…and I am continuing to do that every day. And he’s in the same exact spot. And as much as I don’t want his life, he doesn’t want mine. And yet, sharing an evening together was so great.

I doubt I will ever see Beau again in my life, but I will never forget him and the things I learned about myself spending those few hours with him. I think sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in the comparisons to which similar lives lend themselves; “I wish I lived in that apartment, had that job, was dating that boy,” etc, etc, etc. But sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that, while I have been dealt a certain set of cards, I am the one choosing how to play them…and I’m pretty happy with how the game is going so far.

attitude

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I feel like I could probably post this same post every day and it would be applicable. That said, today it was especially applicable and I might as well write a little bit about this constant battle and the extra “help” that I feel like is with me in these “defining” moments. (Okay, so I don’t know that the moments are really “defining” per se, but whatever.)

Anyway, I was up way too late last night and then, when I got up this morning, I had a waffle brunch to go to at my friend’s apartment. Low key, but just the same, I was going on three day hair and really wanted to wash it before heading over. Now, I knew that once I took a shower today, it was unlikely that I would be doing any running afterward. But, since I’ve been trying to let my knee heal (I twisted it skiing and, while it’s been fine running, it has been killing me to walk on it, so I thought it would probably be wise to give it some time), I wasn’t super worried about missing my run today, except that I didn’t want to lose the happy feelings I’ve been having about running.

So, when I went to take a shower and realized that the hot water was low (this has been happening lately and generally corrects itself after a couple of hours), I took that as a sign that I should go running later. I pulled my greasy hair into a bun and headed over to brunch.

As it happened, when I got home, I found out that the lack of hot water was a much bigger problem than I had realized. Clogged pipes or some such nonsense meant no hot water. My first reaction was that I wouldn’t be able to go running and I probably wouldn’t be able to go to work tomorrow because I would be so gross. Then sanity set in and I realized that I had lots of options. My initial thought was that I could go run on the treadmill at the gym and just shower there…but gym showers kind of gross me out (yes, more than my own filth). Then I texted Kelly. I figured I could take my stuff down to her apartment, drop it off, go for a run, and then shower and get ready there.

Because I had seen the lack of hot water earlier in the day as a “sign” that I should go running, I was determined to make it happen, and figured out a plan. Luckily, as I was getting ready to head out, I needed to wash my hands and, upon doing this, discovered the hot water was back on…so I didn’t end up need Kelly’s shower after all.

So, here’s what I find so interesting about this whole thing, in hindsight. It’s not that the lack of hot water was a sign; the running gods aren’t looking down on me and making all the stars align so that I will go running. It’s a matter of my own attitude. I’m not looking for excuses not to go running. I’m looking for ways to make it fit. And because that’s my attitude, any unusual circumstances either look like signs I should go running or like signs that the universe is fighting against me, and then I want to fight back. “You think a little 20 degree weather is going to keep me from running today? I’ll show you!”

And guess what. My run today was seriously amazing. My mile splits were the fastest they’ve been for an easy run and it felt great. My legs got a little crampy around mile 2, but I just pushed through and kept going. I know I’ve only done two speed workouts, but I think they really make a huge difference. It’s like my muscles knew what they were supposed to do without my mind forcing it. I’m expecting great things from my tempo run tomorrow.

I decided to sprint my last 1/4 mile. Something about those 400 meter sprints has given me a lot more confidence in my ability to run faster and push harder. As I sped up, Daniel Bedingfield’s acoustic version of Gotta Get Through This. How appropriate was that?

speed work

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While I’ve run several half marathons, I’ve never really worked on running them at any particular speed. My goal has only been to finish. Well, this year with the three halves I am planning to do, I want to get faster. I’m tired of running everything at the same exact pace. Enter speed work.

On Tuesday I was slated to run 6 x 400 meters, each one at a faster pace than I normally run. Again, I took to the streets where five street blocks are the equivalent of about 400 meters. The first 400 was a little rough. The entire stretch was a mental battle between me and my heart (my legs were fine at this point). My heart kept saying it couldn’t be pushed longer while my mind argued that it could. Not only could it be longer, it could be pushed harder. The pace was pretty good (not great, but much faster than I normally run). 
The next 400 was easier. It’s amazing how much easier it is to sense a grade in the road when running rather than walking or driving. The second 400 was downhill and a little easier. Still, I wanted to quit after that. I was tired and just wanted to go home. But then I thought, “Well, I’m here. I should at least do two more.” I did. And then contemplated quitting again. But then I looked at all of my different times and thought, “I bet I can beat all of these on my last 400.” And suddenly, a goal was born and I could sense that I was going to be able to do it. (I’m pretty determined.) And I did. I ran the fastest 400 I have run in a very long time. And it was hard. And I was breathless. But it was worth it.
The funny thing about running (specifically training for a long race) is how analogous it is to life. For instance, if I keep “training” for life the same way I always have, I’m going to keep running at the same pace. Take that a step further (albeit a creative one) I could apply this to dating. If I keep trying to date the same way I’ve always dated, I’m guessing I’m going to keep getting the same results. I might end up with someone, but is it going to be the best someone for me? (Just roll with this…I know it’s not perfect.)
So, this week I also decided to apply my “train better” approach to my personal life and when my friend at church suggested a triple date–a set-up triple date that is–while I normally would have said “hell no” I acquiesced. The main goal of this date was actually to set-up one of her friends from Arizona with one of my friends, but she thought it would be more fun if there were three couples rather than two, especially since they are married. I agreed, as long as she figured out who the third guy would be.
And guess what? When you train differently, you do get different results. I had a positive attitude about the whole thing and went into it very open minded and I ended up having a really good time. My goal for the next couple of weeks is to figure out where else I can use this “train differently” approach in my life. I’m guessing there will be lots of opportunities. LIke the speed dating thing I’m doing this next Saturday… And know that the process of training differently is going to be more painful than what I have been doing. But what I have been doing has not been getting me the results I want, so it makes sense that that needs to change, right?
It all sounds so easy posted on a blog at 3 am. This week is a tempo run rather than speed work which will involve a lot more discipline if I run it outside, which I’m determined to do. But I’m already looking forward to the sense of accomplishment I will feel after the run and the little improvement (be it ever so small) that I will feel while running.

ETA: And the song of the night on Tuesday (speed work night) was Katy Perry’s Firework.