We’ve all been there. We meet a guy we are interested in (and yes, I’m limiting the “we” to women, because I will not pretend to understand the male mind in these matters–or any matters) and our world begins to revolve around him. He becomes the most important thing in our life. We make ourselves available for his phone calls, his emails, his games, his gigs, his parties, his friends…whatever it is, if “his” comes before it, we are there.

Why do we, self-confident, assertive women, do it? Well, I don’t think it’s a lack of self-confidence and I don’t think we suddenly become submissive doormats granting every wish a guy has. I think it’s because we just genuinely enjoy the person and the excitement of having a crush or the beginning of “something” and who doesn’t like a little attention?

As I continue, keep in mind that I said “we”. I have been there and done this. I have become interested in someone and he was interested in me and I just wanted to talk to him, see him, do things with him. Here’s the problem…we all have people in our lives who are important to us, who we love, who are there for us through the excitement, the heartaches, and who were there long before the prospective one. And at the beginning, we don’t know if he’s “the one” (which I don’t really believe in, but for our purposes, I will use that term here), but of course we hope that he’s “the one”, so we make sacrifices.

Here’s what I’m learning…eventually, someone will be “the one”, and so we would think that the sacrifices would be worth it. But the thing is, someone who we should want to be “the one” should understand that we had an entire life before he came into it and, more importantly we should remember that we had an entire life before he came into it. Now, those of you who know me are rolling your eyes. You know that I have learned this lesson through personal experience and error.

So, I am confessing and repenting. I can’t promise that I won’t do it again…that I won’t become intoxicated with the excitment of a new interest, or the prospect of “the one”, but I am going to try. The funny thing is that, usually, it’s not the guy doing it to us at all. They are perfectly content with a little chase…not only content, but they enjoy it a little. We are the ones who do it. And I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to drop everything in my life for a guy, whether or not he is “the one”. Eventually, after the excitement and butterflies, real life settles back into place (no matter how things work out)…I don’t want to have to repair relationships or ask my friends to be my friends again, once I have time for them again. I’ve done that once and that was enough.

To those of you who I have “dropped” or hurt through neglect, and who have taken me back so graciously, or not, I am sorry. And to those of you who have done it to me, I understand. We have all been there. We all know how it feels to be the “lover” and the “left-behind”. That’s the beauty of friendship; there is a give and take…but I am going to try and be better. Of course, this is easily stated when I’m not really interested in anyone (at least not anyone that I am planning on pursuing), but I hope that, by writing this down and being conscious of it, I will do better next time.

And yes, there was an event that acted as the catalyst for this post…but, the good thing about reflecting is that you often realize…especially when you’re upset or hurt… that you’ve “been there and done that” and you can understand.

So, I’m super-chatty today (and yesterday). It’s not like I have anything really important to share…but I just keep thinking of things I want to post about why I love blogging:

1. I love that blogging makes me think about taking pictures. I spent 5 years in AZ and have very few pictures to show for it.

2. I think blogging actually helps me do more fun stuff because I want to have fun stuff to write about. Now, that might sound silly, but it’s true. I read my friends’ blogs and see all the things they’re doing and think, “I want to do that stuff”. I know, strange, but that’s how a lot of the things I’ve done in my life have happened…not because I wanted to blog about them, but I wanted an interesting life so that I would have interesting things to talk about…and, well, blogging makes it so that I can talk about whatever I want all the time and people can read about it or not. Oh, that should be number 4.

3. I love that I can blog about things and get them out there without feeling liking I’m boring someone or forcing someone to listen to another one of my stories.

4. I think those are all of my thoughts for now…oh, one more thing. I love that blogging makes me a real person. Yes, a little strange because of course I’m a real person, but as one who often wants to please people, or be what people want me to be, blogging shows who I really am. As I have no particular audience, I have no one I am aiming to please. Like sometimes I wish I were less materialistic, so I act less materialistic than I might otherwise…and I’m not pretending, just putting my best foot forward, which we all do at times, so don’t judge me. The truth is, I’m more materialistic than I would like to be. Is that something I want to change? Yes, but it is what it is right now. I like things and I like money to do things. Not in the way that I want to be better than anyone or have more than anyone (I am happy to share), but in the way that I enjoy the benefits of having things and doing things. Which brings me to 6.

5. For those of you who know me, when I do get to a point where I’m dating someone seriously, just make sure that he has my blog address (not before it’s serious because I may want to blog about him and that could be awkward) and that he reads it, even if it’s boring at times because A) that way he will know what he’s getting into (having said that, I think I’m doing a much better job lately at just being me and not worrying about pleasing people because I’ve seen first hand just how scary that can be) and B) if I’m dating someone seriously, he should want to read all about me.

6. Last thought…sometimes I really do talk to much. Thank goodness for blogging.

This is an email that I received from my sister-in-law, Shelley. She likes to forward things along. I try not to be a “forwarder”, but I thought this was cute…I hesitate to share, not because it’s inappropriate (although she has sent me some really funny ones that I won’t be posting here…if you want them, email me), but because I don’t necessarily feel like I’m an apple waiting to be picked…so take it for what it is. Here’s to all the good apples and the apple harvesters who know that the best apples are at the top of the tree.

“Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”

There was a part about men being like a fine wine, but I try not to be a hater, so I’ll go ahead and leave that out. I like men. I know some great ones. I know some not so great ones, as well. But the same goes for the women I know, as well.

In any case…I enjoyed this little email and thought I’d share.