pet peeves…

I don’t have many, but after the day I had, I have realized that there are a few things that really, really bug me.

1. Late people. This is pet peeve Numero Uno. And I’m not talking the occasional 15 minutes, or the perpetual 5 minutes. I’m talking about chronically late, the regularly 15 minutes or more late. This drives me crazy. What it communicates is that the offender is more important than whomever may be waiting for him or her. Do late people get this? Do all of you chronically late people understand that what you are are saying on a regular basis without coming right out and uttering the actual words is, “my time is more important than your time and therefore, it is okay for you to have to wait for me.” Aaaahhh! So, irritating!

2. Bad drivers. This really means slow, non-aggressive drivers. You don’t need to be a speed-racer. I’ve definitely slowed down since the insurance payments started coming out of my checking account. But, seriously, if traffic is passing you on the right, move over! And if you need to change lanes, signal and do it. Just commit and get it over with.

3. Condescending people. Now, those of you who have known me for a long time might be thinking, “Wow, if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black.” And yes, it is. I have been and still can be condescending and I know it and, despite what you all might think, I’m really trying to do better because I hate it when people do it to me, or my friends, or anyone, for that matter. It drives me insane. And it’s just rude. Please don’t treat my like I’m two. Please don’t give me advice I have not solicited. And for heaven’s sake, please don’t tell me what I will or won’t or should or shouldn’t think, feel, be, do, and I will do the same.

And since some of you are currently wondering why I have any friends at all, I will satisfy your curiosity. I pay them…lots and lots of money, which explains my spending problem.

ten random thoughts for a random day…

1. New favorite song – “Sunny Road” by Emiliana Torrini. I love it. It fits my mood lately.

2. There are not enough hours in the day when finals creep up on you and papers need to be finished.

3. I cannot wait to have time to exercise again…with everything I’ve got going on sleep and exercise are at the bottom of the priority list…just ahead of watching t.v. So sad!

4. I’m forcing myself to write a paragraph between each of these entries so that I can get my darn paper done. Why do we have to write papers anyway? I mean, I’m just regurgitating something someone else already thought or wrote…I wish that somehow I could translate my thoughts into papers, because my thoughts are so fluid, but something always gets lost in translation.

5. I hate when I really like a song, but then the artist has to stick some lame-o beginning or ending on it. If I knew how to edit music, I would do it and cut out the crap. The song that I’m speaking of specifically is the guilty pleasure of the week, the edited version of “Give It to Me” by Timbaland, feat. Nelly Furtado and JT. Yes, it’s sad, but it’s soooo good. No, I haven’t listened carefully to the lyrics. I’m sure I would be appalled if I did, which is why I haven’t.

6. Next Thursday, pass or fail, sink or swim, I will be done with all of my classes and “free at last”…well, until studying for the GMAT begins.

7. I cannot wait for this semester to be over so that I can get my computer fixed…my BRAND NEW computer that should not be having any problems.

8. I have finally figured out that since there is not one specific thing I am super, intensely, wickedly passionate about (and I cringe to end that phrase with a preposition, but it sounds too formal otherwise), I have to do something that allows me to do all of the things I am interested in. For instance, I would not want to scuba dive for a living, but I love diving, so I need to do something that a) makes me enough money and b) gives me vacation time so that I can dive.

9. Today (which is now yesterday) was one of those days when I just felt blessed that my trials were my own and those of others were theirs. Those are my best days, not because they are necessarily good days, but because those are the days when I feel I have a purpose and that God knows me and knows exactly what I can and cannot handle.

10. My consulting team will present to our faculty advisor at 12:30 today (Friday). Why is it that I am always more nervous for the dress rehearsal than for the actual performance? I hate that about myself.

productively procrastinating…

I am sitting in front of my computer right now (obviously) thinking about all of the things I should be doing rather than doing them. I came home and did the dishes. That’s something. And my friend, Catherine, will be here any minute so that we can go exercise, but I just can’t seem to get myself to do all of the things I need to be doing. I’ve been up until 2:30 the past two nights…productively procrastinating.

I baked a cake for my cake decorating class. I selected new pieces to work on in my voice lessons. I discovered that I lose all of my vocal inhibitions when I have a microphone in my hand, or anything else I can feasibly utilize in place of a microphone; last night, it was a round brush. And yes, I guarantee you that you wish you had a picture. Even just thinking about it makes me laugh.

I am getting caught up on my journal writing. I downloaded my pictures from Vegas. I unpacked from my trip only to repack for another on Thursday. I hung up my new clothes from Banana (outlet shopping on 30% off weekend with a 50% off coupon makes what I am going to say next okay) as motivation…I need to drop about five pounds for them to fit perfectly. I organized all of my cake decorating tools. I did my dishes (I live in a dishwasher free apartment over the garage). I discovered a new band that I am enjoying. I am almost finished with Genesis.

Somehow my productivity level ceases with folding laundry, though…so that has yet to be done. But I am getting desperate and running out of productive things to do in an effort to avoid my two papers, lecture (on DVD) and quiz that all need to be “worked on” before I go to bed tonight.

Catherine better get here soon, or I may have to succumb to the beast I call “Clean Laundry”. Perhaps I should start writing a paper? Huh, something to think about. Maybe I’ll contemplate that while I wait for Catherine to get here.

random thoughts, realizations, and confessions…

1. I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Not that I am dying to be in one, but I think it’s healthy to think about whether or not I am where I want to be in order to be in one. Does that make sense? Anyway, twice a year, my church has a world wide conference, called General Conference. One happened to fall this last weekend. I came to the realization, as I listened to a great talk given by a man named Jeffrey R. Holland about emotional abuse and how our words can really hurt people, that I am not where I want to be . Well, I realized that this is one of my weaknesses. Sometimes I say really mean things and sometimes, when I do it, I think I am being funny. I don’t want to be that person.

It was also interesting to think about my mother (he mentioned that parents should not compare or criticize children) and realize that I don’t have a single memory of her ever criticizing me or comparing me to my siblings. I am so sad to no longer have her physically with me, but what a blessing to have had such a great mom while she was alive. I hope she knows how much I appreciate that and how blessed I feel.

2. There were several other great talks given (the conference is four, two-hour sessions), but the other one that really struck me was given by Dallin H. Oaks about divorce. He talked about how sad it is that today marriage is often not taken seriously; people aren’t willing to work at it and all too often want out for a number of stupid reasons. I want to mention that he also said that there are reasons to get out of a marriage and that sometimes divorce is necessary. But one of my favorite things that he said was that the best way to not need to divorce someone who is abusive or adulterous, etc., is to do not marry them. And the best way to not marry them is to get to know them really well. Not exactly rocket science, I know, but sometimes the basics are what we need to hear.

3. I want to read the bible from cover to cover. My 30th birthday is quickly approaching and I have yet to read the bible in entirety…and I have been religious my entire life. It’s embarrassing, I know. So, I started Sunday night. So far, so good. Granted, it’s only Tuesday, but I’m going to take that as a good sign.

4. I am tired of obsessing about how I look (in other words, how much I weigh), so I haven’t weighed myself in over two weeks (if your not a scale junkie, just realize that this is a big deal) and I’m trying to just relax about it and be healthy. Last night, I invited my friend Catherine over and instead of hanging out and sitting on our bums, we went for a walk and got in our fill of gabbing. It was great! I think we covered about three miles and I felt so good afterward.

5. I haven’t had voice lessons in over three months, which makes me sad, so today, I set up a time and I am back on track next Monday.

6. I really like my dad. It’s one thing to love your parents, but over the past few months being at home (in the apartment over the garage) and spending time with him, I have come to the conclusion that he really is a good person and I really enjoy spending time with him. And he’s seriously funny! Now, that isn’t the first impression most people get, but he really is hilarious.

7. I took a cake decorating class when I was in fifth grade and I still remember how to make clowns out of frosting…but since that’s almost the only thing I remember, I am starting a cake decorating class this week. How fun is that?

8. Sometimes I purchase and listen to music not because I like it, but because I want to like it or I think I should like it. And sometimes I do the same thing with food (well, eat rather than listen to, but you get what I mean)…and movies,. And usually, I end up liking what I wanted to like in the first place, but I wonder why I do that. What am I trying to prove and to whom? And why can’t I do that with people?

9. I’m heading down to Vegas this weekend and I am so excited. Not only am I excited to see my brother, sister-in-law and nephew (is he not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?), but I’m also excited for some good driving/alone time. I basically live by myself, so you would think that I have plenty of alone time, but there is something nice about 5 hours (yes, I also like to drive fast), uninterrupted with nothing to do but look at the road ahead and listen to whatever I want to listen to…for example, the same song 100 times in a row if I so choose.

10. I love that when my sister calls in a crisis wanting me to come down and help her get the baby’s room ready for the baby shower, I can do it because a) I am single and have no husband or children of my own to worry about, b) I now work a M-F job, so I can easily head down to AZ for the weekend without needing to reschedule clients and c) we have a father who, despite his complaints about how much money we cost him (yes, we are all grown-ups and still cost him money), he is always willing to help us help each other (i.e. buy my plane ticket down there because he knows I’m working my way out of debt and that it will really help my sister feel less stressed about life).

Interestingly and on a side note, in doing the math, the cost of my plane ticket is about equal to what it would cost for my sister to have the baby’s room painted (which is essentially what I’m going down to do), but my dad would never pay to have the room painted. He is, however, willing to pay for me to go down there to do it. Once upon a time, I didn’t understand his logic, but now that I’m older, I can see all of the ways we are better people because of it. For instance, I do an amazing job cutting in edges free hand (I hate taping things off).

life lessons from my dad…

I am currently living at home. Well, I need to qualify that a little. My dad has a studio apartment over his garage and that is where I currently reside. I have my own little kitchenette (little being the operative word) and bathroom and entrance (although I do have to go through the garage). When I left Arizona in May of last year, quitting my job and renting out my house, it was under the assumption that I was getting married and would be living with my new husband. So, when I called off the wedding, I found myself homeless, jobless and in quite a bit of debt (moving across the country twice and not working for four months will do that to a person). That is how I ended up here, in my dad’s house, living over his garage.

What I’ve discovered is that, as long as I am living in Provo (which I may be for a while if I decide to go to BYU for graduate school), living at home is fantastic. It makes the most sense financially. I’m not in the house, and so I have all of the privacy I want and I don’t have to play roommate roulette, but I have all of the benefits of living in a nice, big house, because I can go in it anytime I want. Not only that, but I have really enjoyed being able to get to know my dad better. He’s really funny…which brings me to what prompted this posting.

Yesterday, I got home from running in the Rex Lee Run to find that my dad wasn’t home. I called his cell phone to see where he was and he told me he was getting his car washed (a regular Saturday activity). Well, I’m broke (more broke than I have ever been…and the question you are all asking is “How is that possible when you are living at home?”…a post for another day) and I’m out of gas, so I asked him if I could meet him down there so that he could put gas in my car. I knew what the response would be, but I thought I’d ask, just the same.

As expected, he said no, but then he told me that if I was ever in real trouble, he’d help me out. I am in real trouble, but only because of my own stupidity and explaining that to my dad would be more painful than a root canal with no anesthetic. So I was especially grateful when he followed that comment with, “If you’d like to earn some money, there’s some yard work that you can help me with.” Sweet deal. My dad’s going rate for yard work is $10 and hour. Three hours of work and I’d have enough money to fill my tank. I get to live at home, virtually rent free (I do pay a little, so he can tell his wife I’m paying rent) and my dad provides me with jobs so I can make extra money. I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

My dad could have just purchased a tank of gas for me yesterday, but what would that have taught me? He is very wise…despite his age. He does not believe in free handouts (or free loans…the going interest rate on a loan from the Bank of Nev is 7%, but I don’t qualify due to a poor credit history), not because he couldn’t give me the money or because he’s stingy, but because he knows that working for what you have makes you a much happier, more confident person, even if it is doing yard work for $10 an hour.

So today, I’m very sunburned, very sore (yard work and running), have a couple of blisters, $40 less poor and in possession of my dignity. Not to mention the QT with my dad, which I always enjoy, including (and especially) the stupid jokes he tells.