oh…dating

I know I just wrote about a little epiphany I had about not worrying so much about not being married, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be dating. And maybe I shouldn’t write things about dating because it has to get boring after a while, but this is my blog and dating is what’s been happening in my life lately (thankfully?), so here goes.

I would really like to find a nice, smart Mormon guy to date and possibly/eventually married. And there are a number of them floating around. And I don’t know if it’s that they don’t want to date me or think that I don’t want to date them, but the end result is the same…I am not being asked out by Mormon guys. Please don’t read this as me blaming the guys for my lack of dating. I definitely have issues that contribute to this situation.

So, two months ago, I decided to get back online because, well, if I’m being perfectly honest, my ego needed a little boost and some guy had emailed me and curiosity got the best of me. And then, because I’ve been feeling lately like I really need to work on the whole Mormon dating thing because I would like to find a nice Mormon guy, I put myself on one of the Mormon dating sites.

On the Mormon site there were some guys with potential. And a bunch of 50 and 60 somethings who, for some reason, think that hitting on a 33-year-old is acceptable even though they could be my father. Can I say that something is flattering while simultaneously finding it completely repulsive? No? Okay. Then it was just gross. So, nothing came of the Mormon online efforts.

In the non-Mormon online dating scene, the email that provided the main catalyst for me to join Match.com again came from a really nice guy who lives in the Bronx and is maybe just a little too young for me. We emailed back and forth a few times. Then texted. Then he asked me out (over text…the reality that is the 21st century and online dating) and so we went out. And it was fun. And the next week we went out again. And again, it was fun. And so on and so forth. But that’s all it has been is fun. No depth. And then Friday night, it wasn’t fun anymore. It was work.

Here’s what sucks. This guys is really nice. And he’s super attentive. And he likes me. And I feel good about myself when I’m with him. And he’s attractive. But we come from two completely different worlds and have almost nothing in common. While that was fun for the first five weeks, it’s just painful now.

As we were sitting at dinner and he was telling me another story about something I didn’t care about, the words of my grandmother came back to haunt me. “Your chances of finding someone just aren’t very good because you aren’t going to be happy with just anyone.” I wanted to like this guy. He’s nice and attentive and he likes me a lot. But I just don’t like him. And now I have to figure out a way to tell him that. And I want to be nice about it. Although part of me thinks a text message would be totally reasonable since that’s how he asks me out.

I think the most depressing thing about this whole thing is realizing, once again, that the boys who want to date me are not the boys I want to date and the boys I do want to date don’t want to date me. But what single person you know hasn’t been depressed about the same thing? And so, life goes on and there are new guys on the horizon who I probably won’t like or who won’t like me, but I’ll keep trying…

P.S. If any of you have any nice, smart, single male friends you think I might like and might like me (especially of the Mormon variety) I am not above being set-up. 🙂

4 thoughts on “oh…dating

  1. Oh my goodness! I actually just went through a very similar thing myself. Although mine only took 3 weeks to become non-fun. Dating is brutal. Sending good vibes for dating your way though!!

  2. I feel like I could have written this. I actually put in my profile on an LDS site that anyone over 48 should not contact me. I hate that dating is so hard….

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