I’m not sure how many of you out there are familiar with the book, The Five Love Languages. I have never actually read it, but I’ve had lots and lots of discussions with people who have and find the concepts very interesting. They seem to make sense. The idea is that we all have a dominant love language, and as the name of the book suggests, there are essentially five: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
Anyway, posting about my family yesterday got me thinking. If I had to choose my family’s (in respect to my mom and siblings) love language, it would be acts of service. We are not a hugging family, nor do we really share our feelings in words. Personally, I would say that I really value both acts of service and quality time. I think because I grew up in a family where gifts were often used to mitigate the effects of someone not being there, receiving gifts does next to nothing for me…unless the other pieces are there and the gift shows thoughtfulness. For my grandma’s birthday on Saturday, I didn’t even think about getting her a gift. What I did think was, “I really need to go spend some time with Grandma before I move to New York.” That’s what I felt bad about.
So, as someone who grew up with acts of service being very important, I love to serve the people I love. And I love to serve when I know it’s something that means a lot to them, like watching my nieces and nephews so my siblings can get away for a night, or a week or whatever. Sometimes I think this makes me look like I’m this really, really nice person (especially when it comes to how often I will watch my siblings’ children), but the truth is I love doing it. I just like helping people out…when they aren’t demanding and needy and they appreciate it. (I don’t want you all to think I’m some kind of saint…I’m not.)
Feb. 14 – I love being able to serve the people I love.