letters

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Once upon a time, I kept every letter and card I ever received. Ever. But then I realized that continuing that would be ridiculous. I couldn’t keep ALL of them. So, eventually, I went through them and got rid of anything not from a family member or that didn’t have some kind of significant meaning to me. Part of me considered just getting rid of everything, but the pack rat in me wouldn’t let that happen. These letters have been living in a box in storage for the past four years.

On Monday, I went through these letters…just to make sure I didn’t need to get rid of more of them. As I went through them, I came to the stack of letters I received while an exchange student in Belgium. I laughed at the letters I received from my sister telling me about this or that boy. The letters from my dad were typical of my dad. Short and to the point. With my dad, it’s what he does and not how he does it that shows how much he cares.

And then I came across the letters from my mom. With my now adult perspective, I read the letters with a new understanding. At the time she wrote them, I didn’t realize just how worried she was about me…over in Europe…at the age of 14…and TOTALLY homesick. Her letters were full of love and understanding and support. She didn’t chastise me for being homesick or being ungrateful for the amazing opportunity I was being given. Her letters were the equivalent of written hugs.

She’s been gone for over 14 years now and I’m used to not having her around, but that doesn’t mean I need her any less. For those of you who have lost a parent, or spouse, or sibling, or child…I’m sure you can relate to what I’m saying. I was just thinking the other day of how proud she would be of me and how much she would have loved to come visit me in New York and try all of the fabulous restaurants and see as many shows as she could. And while, just like with heading off to Europe, I know what an amazing opportunity I have to be moving to New York, I am also a little scared and a little sad.

I’m very excited about my job, but I’m also terrified. I went back to graduate school because I didn’t feel like I was pushing myself hard enough. Well…I will now be pushing myself hard enough. New York is such an exciting place, but I am leaving all of my family…my family who I absolutely adore…and I know, at times, even in such a huge city surrounded by so many people, I will feel very lonely. I am fortunate to be earning a good living, but I am also in A LOT of debt and New York is VERY expensive. Just a lot of things that are kind of scary and overwhelming. Add to that the stress of moving and going through boxes I haven’t seen in four years (I left a lot of stuff in storage when I moved here) and, well, this week has been a little rough.

Which is where the letters come in. At the end of one of the letters, my mom had written two of her favorite sayings. One of which we, as siblings, repeat to one another often. “It always works out.” This is so ingrained in me that I don’t ever question that things will work out. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about the road from here to there. And that’s where one of her other favorite sayings comes in. “Don’t borrow trouble.”

It was exactly what I needed to hear as I am in the process of completely uprooting my life and going down this new road…and I got to hear it from the exactly who I should get to hear such advice from; my mom.

selling stuff…

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For the next few days, I may or may not be using my blog to sell things. If you know ANYONE who might want some of this stuff, just direct them here. Thank you.

And the first item up for bid is some really cute (however, too juvenile for me) bedding. Would be great for a teen. It’s a complete set and you can find the listing here.

and in case you’re wondering…

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The new apartment is on the Upper West Side. While I had a great time in the Village last summer, I can already tell that this is much more “me”. I like that it’s a little slower, a little more residential, and I am only two blocks from Central Park and three blocks from Riverside Park. I absolutely love my neighborhood already. And even better, my subway stop could not be more ideal for work. Seriously, it’s dreamy!

my new digs

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I don’t know if there are words to express how much I LOVE my new apartment. For those of you who haven’t been keeping track, I have been living at home for FOUR years. If that doesn’t sound pathetic… Anyway, when I moved home I left a lot of my stuff in storage (more on that later) because when you go from a three-bedroom home to a studio there just isn’t room for everything.


Most people who move from just about anywhere in the U.S. to New York find themselves downsizing dramatically. I, however, am not most people. I cannot explain how excited I am to have a bedroom, and kitchen with more than two cupboards, and an actual living area where there’s room for some kind of sofa, and a bathroom where the ceiling doesn’t slant. And now, I give you my new apartment…in progress.


This is the entry way. It’s a long, narrow hallway. The bathroom is off to the left.


The bathroom. I have to have two shower curtains to go around the whole tub, but that’s okay. In some apartments in New York, the shower head is not at one end of the tub, but in the middle. I was so excited to see that such was not the case in my apartment. And my little sink with my little mirror. Guess who’s throwing out all kinds of beauty stuff.


My living room/kitchen combo. Finding an apartment with this in my budget was not super easy. There’s enough room in the living room for me to get two loveseats and have an entertainments center of sorts. Amazing. Additionally, I have a fabulous breakfast bar, which means no need for a kitchen table…which I don’t have room for. However, that box under the bar on the right contains the most amazing foldable table that, when not in use, fits right there and will give me FOUR extra drawers. And, in case you were wondering, my kitchen is HUGE by New York standards. Huge!



And here is my bedroom! I have an actual bedroom (I thought for sure I would be in a studio.) And it has TWO windows which means lots of natural light. I just purchased this fabulous bed (still need to finish it) that will actually fit my luggage under it. In New York, it is all about storage space…as in, no one has any, so you have to get creative. I LOVE this bed. (The “bedspread” is a temporary fix…I didn’t have room to pack my bedding on the flight).


The closet you see here is the ONLY one in the entire apartment which means I will have to get creative with my clothes. Thus the bed with four drawers and a cabinet. I will also been purchasing a dresser of some sort. And my shoes…well, I got a shoe rack for the back of my door that will hold 36 pairs. Too bad that’s only about half of my shoes. I’ll figure it out. Part of me figuring it out is me selling all kinds of stuff. Clothes, shoes, books, kitchen things, and a number of pieces of furniture.

If you live in Utah County and want to know what I’m selling, shoot me an email at chloe.elizabeth@yahoo.com.

no longer homeless!

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Trying to move to a new city where finding housing is like speaking a foreign language you don’t know has been…stressful. And I’m not an easily stressed out person (at least I don’t think I am). Among other difficulties, I haven’t paid rent for the past few years as I’ve been living at home for graduate school, I’m basically broke, and my credit…is less than stellar. And then there are all of these income rules in New York. On top of that, there are apartment brokers who are often dishonest and scheisty. Can you say, “super fun”?

Anyway, about two weeks ago I found my dream apartment. I mean…DREAM. Gorgeous brand new building, doorman, 17th floor, walk-in closet, gorgeous bathroom, and gourmet kitchen. It was only a studio, but big enough and stunning. I had looked at these apartments when I was visiting in February, but the only ones they had available at the time were way out of my budget. So, then, two weeks ago on craigslist I saw THE apartment. And for not too much rent. A girl was moving to Hong Kong and needed to find a subletter. It was like an answer to my prayers.
And then there were delays. And then I couldn’t get a hold of management to fill out the paperwork. And then I learned that having no rental history was going to make my life hell. And then…and then…and then. The straw that broke my will to be patient was when this very nice girl informed me that her new job might actually want her to be in New York, as opposed to Hong Kong. So…while I still really wanted the apartment, I started looking again.
That’s when I found a great ONE BEDROOM (this is a BIG deal on my budget) with a HUGE kitchen. It’s in an older building and on the ground floor, but it’s at the rear of the building, so quiet and safe, and it’s newly renovated, so it’s super clean and nice. Kelly went and looked at it for me (I’m not crazy!), and while this isn’t the glitzy glamorous apartment of my dreams, this kitchen will fit all of my stuff. It is $175 cheaper a month. And it gives me an excuse to have someone else do my laundry, since there’s no laundry in the building, but there is a wash and fold place right next door (the normal laundromat is a few blocks away).
In addition to all of those great things, the building manager was the one listing it, so no lame brokers, no credit checks, and a quick approval. (I applied on Friday and got approved on Saturday.)
All in all, I’m very excited! It’s a great apartment and I feel very good about my decision to be a little more practical. And if you want to see what it looks like, here are some pics. Yes, the bedroom is TINY, but trust me when I say that most of the kitchens in the apartments in my price range come with a fridge, a sink, a range, and maybe two overhead cabinets.