perspective

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Once upon a time, when I was still in college, I watched some of my girlfriends from my freshmen year get married from a distance. I would hear about their upcoming nuptials and be slightly (read: seriously) jealous. That’s all I wanted.

As the years have gone on and I have remained single, I have become more comfortable with my single status. Not so comfortable that I don’t want to get married at some point when the right guy comes along (and when I’m the right girl…I maybe have some work to do…maybe). But today was one of those days when I realized just how lucky I am that I didn’t end up married to the wrong guy. My life may not be perfect, and I may have to make all of these decisions on my own, and I may not have a partner in crime and foolishness, but I am happy. And I am the one who is in control of that happiness. And I have marketable skills that allow me to take care of myself.

To those of you stay-at-home-moms out there reading this, please do not mistake what I am saying. I am not saying that I think you should not be stay-at-home-moms. Nor am I saying that the work you are doing in your homes is not the most important work you could be doing right now. What I am saying is that I would rather be single than unhappily married, especially if I felt like I was trapped.

This may seem like a random post, but I recently learned that some of these girls from my freshmen year (lovely, amazing, women) who married rather young and devoted themselves to their husbands and children are now divorced and my heart goes out to them. I can’t imagine what a trial that must be.

It’s not that I think they should have made different choices. I think the best we can do is make good decisions based on the information we have at that moment. I am just very sad for them. And feeling very blessed tonight, as I sit in my itty-bitty-but-oh-so-cute apartment in New York City, thinking about the fact that I love my job and that I can pay my bills and that I’m not worried about 1/100th of the things I would guess these women are worrying about. I would also guess that these women wouldn’t trade places with me for anything because that would mean not having their oh-so-adorable children. At least I hope that’s how they feel.

The bottom-line: I’m thankful that my life is my life and my trials are my trials. And isn’t that the best thing that any of us can hope for?

urban girl squad

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There’s this pretty cool social networking group in NYC that one of my coworkers introduced me to called Urban Girl Squad. She sent out an invite for an event called Cupcakes and Champagne to a few of us at work. So, tonight, five of us headed headed over to this event and it was really fun. This little group does all kinds of other fun things, too…like rifle shooting lessons (yes, I will be signing up for that one next time it’s available)!

Just one more reason to love New York and love my job and my coworkers!

not-quite-bachelorette-weekend

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I think this might have been the last time the three of us were together before the NQBW. 

So, back when the lovely Sarah asked me to be her Maid of Honor, a plan was created. Kelly and I wanted to do something for her as a sort of bachelorette party, but with Sarah in Utah…and Utah being not the most exciting place for a bachelorette weekend…and Kelly and me in NYC, we had to figure out what to do. So we listed the help of Sarah’s soon-to-be husband. Mike was a total doll about the whole thing. He helped us figure it out.

The plan: surprise Sarah with a weekend in New York. We coordinated dates. We figured out what Mike would tell Sarah and how we were going to keep it a surprise. It was PERFECT!

And then Sarah and Mike eloped a week before the bachelorette weekend. And then the plan was complicated by Mike’s work and an unplanned trip to California. And the surprise was no longer a surprise. That said, the weekend was still amazing…and probably much more enjoyable for Sarah since she was able to pack for NYC weather (which did not cooperate) as opposed to CA weather.

Our darling shirts from Amy Tangerine !

So, even though the surprise was no longer a surprise, the weekend was so fun! We shopped. We ate. We lounged. We laughed. We went to a show (Follies…we do not recommend it). We ate some more. We slept. We watched Bridesmaids. We got pedicures. We brunched. We froze a little in the crazy weather. It had been way too long since the three of us had been together. Way. Too. Long. No boyfriends. No husbands. Just the girls. Not something any of us wants to have all the time, but it was fun for a weekend (especially for the single girl–me).

And pedicures!!!

I’m so happy for Sarah and Mike and am so glad she married someone who will help us plan surprise weekends, even if the plan didn’t work out exactly as planned! And I can’t wait to party it up on New Year’s for their not-quite-wedding-reception.

gratitude

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For the past three (four?) years I’ve participated in an attitude of gratitude challenge. Although I don’t know that I ever made it all the way through the whole month of November. So, this year…I’m not even going to try. What I am going to do, in honor of my 34th birthday today, is post 34 things for which I am grateful! Here goes (I should probably throw some pics into this post, but it’s not happening tonight)…

  1. I am grateful for my fantastic family – seriously, I feel so lucky that I actually like my family and feel like I would have chosen them even if they weren’t my family. 
  2. I am grateful for my friends. I have amazing friends who are always there when I need them and love me for who I am.
  3. I am grateful for my job. I have an amazing job and I love the people with whom I work. I had no idea that I could love a job as much as I love this one (or a manager), but I really do. 
  4. I am grateful for the chance to live in New York City. It is seriously such an amazing opportunity. I was headed home from outside the city tonight after a meeting and was walking through Grand Central Station and just thought…holy crap, this is my life.
  5. I am grateful for water in all its forms; ocean, lake, river, tap, bottled. Water is amazing. 
  6. I am grateful for my wanderlust. It has helped me have so many amazing experiences and hopefully will continue to do so throughout the rest of my life.
  7. I am grateful for a mother that had us play sports as a kid including soccer and swimming specifically. 
  8. I am grateful for both of my soccer teams and the great new friends I’m making through playing on those teams. 
  9. I am grateful for my love of baking (even if my waistline isn’t). It’s such a fun thing for me and I love sharing with my friends. 
  10. I’m grateful for my very (extremely, unfairly) good health. I may not always (ever?) love how my body looks, but I sure am lucky when it comes to how healthy I am. 
  11. I’m grateful for video chat that makes it 150 times easier to live so far away from my favorite munchkins. 
  12. I’m grateful for books. I love books and love to read and don’t know what I’d do without them.
  13. I’m grateful to live in a country founded on freedom. Even when I don’t agree with how people use that freedom, I am glad we all have it.
  14. I’m grateful for flowers. I love them so much! They just make life brighter!
  15. I’m grateful for the sunshine. I mean, really, do I need to say anything more. 
  16. On that note, I’m grateful for sunsets and sunrises. I just don’t think anything looks as pretty as it does in that kind of sunlight.
  17. I’m thankful for the relationships I’ve had throughout my life and everything I’ve learned from each one of them.
  18. I’m grateful for forgiveness. Both extending it to others, but most especially when others have extended it to me.
  19. I’m grateful for a mother who taught me charity…even if I don’t always practice it.
  20. I’m grateful for my education. I know I’m so lucky to have had parents who supported me through college, and then the opportunity to go to beauty school (yes, I’m counting that) and then the scholarships that got me through business school. 
  21. I’m grateful for my standardized-test-taking abilities. Seriously, anyone who’s taking the GMAT, you know why this is something to be grateful for…and probably the main reason I got said scholarship (because we all know it wasn’t my undergrad GPA).
  22. I’m grateful for yellow cake from a box with chocolate frosting from a tub. I mean, I do love me some Amy’s pink cake, but I will forever be a yellow cake/chocolate frosting kind o’ girl.
  23. I’m grateful for a teacher (Mrs. Hoffaker) that let me read only Babysitters’ Club books in the sixth grade to fulfill her over-the-top extracurricular reading requirement when she wouldn’t let anyone else read series books because I had such a hard time reading and those were the only books I seemed able to get through. And now I love to read!
  24. I am grateful for books. I love books. So. Much. 
  25. I am grateful for my Kindle that lets me carry hundreds of books with me at a time. 
  26. I am thankful for music. I think my life would be so different if there was no music. I can’t even really imagine it. Both listening to it and singing. 
  27. I am grateful for darling nieces and nephews who are absolutely hilarious and make me laugh all the time. 
  28. I am grateful for photographs. How sad would life be without the ability to capture memories in still frames and relive those moments every time I look at a picture? Or without being able to look at pictures of my mom when sometimes I struggle to remember just what she looked like. 
  29. I am thankful for my ability to sleep. I think about this almost every night as I lie down on my bed knowing I will be asleep relatively quickly. 
  30. I’m grateful for the opportunities I have had to travel and see parts of the world. Hopefully, I’ll be expanding those horizons even farther in the very near future, but for now, I’m quite content with the places I’ve been.
  31. I’m grateful to live in a time and place where I can choose exactly what I want to do for a living and there are no constraints based on my age or gender…only my abilities. That is amazing.
  32. I’m grateful for air transportation. Seriously, is anything quite so amazing as being able to get from JFK to PHX in a matter of hours? (okay, or around the globe, but I haven’t been going around the globe recently)
  33. I’m grateful for my faith. It’s what keeps me going and gives me hope through the really tough times. 
  34. And finally, I’m grateful to have made it through one more year feeling like my life is still headed in the right direction. Is there anything better than looking back on a year and thinking, “Wow, I really did that?” I don’t think so. 
Happy Birthday to me! Thanks to my friends and fam for all of the well wishes! 
ETA: This should have gone up on my birthday (the published date), but it just didn’t happen. I was too busy having fun with my friends!

my friday night lights

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No, I’m not talking about football, but I am talking about this lighted field on Friday nights and my new favorite obsession: soccer! And this is where I get to play every Friday night, with the Empire State Building glowing in the background. I also get to play on Saturday mornings. And Tuesday nights at practice. Yeah. Like I said. It’s a new obsession.

This week there were only three of us who could make it on Tuesday, but we still practiced anyway. And it was kind of nice because it was Amy and me who are both at about the same skill level and Oliver who is better than both of us and super nice (my whole team is really nice). I told him I really wanted to work on my ball handling skills. I am an excellent defender, but not so great when it comes to offense. So we played a lot of “monkey in the middle” (helps with with control and passing), mid-air trapping exercises (self-explanatory), and controlled heading (as in heading the ball in a specific direction).

At the end of practice, I didn’t really feel like I’d improved very much. And I was worse for the wear with a big, scraped up bruise on my shin (forgot my shin guards). And then Friday rolled around and, well, apparently practicing really does make a difference. It was AMAZING!

I still defended well (I love defense!), but I also helped on offense. In past games, I’ve only gotten the ball as a result of stealing it from the other team (and I haven’t minded that at all…I have never wanted someone to pass the ball to me because I was so sure I would lose possession in 2.2 seconds). But this game, it was different. It probably helps that I play with a great group of guys who do not expect perfection, but between practice and a little coaching from my teammates, something just clicked. Not only was able to help out in some integral plays, I headed the ball off a corner kick and nearly made it in the goal (or at least it headed in that direction :). It was so fun!

By the end of the game, I was beat. Playing offense and defense requires a little more running than just defense, and we were down a girl, so there were no subs for Amy and me and you have to have two girls on the field at all times. But it was so worth it. Oh, and we won 7-1. Kind of fantastic, right?