Once upon a time, when I was still in college, I watched some of my girlfriends from my freshmen year get married from a distance. I would hear about their upcoming nuptials and be slightly (read: seriously) jealous. That’s all I wanted.
As the years have gone on and I have remained single, I have become more comfortable with my single status. Not so comfortable that I don’t want to get married at some point when the right guy comes along (and when I’m the right girl…I maybe have some work to do…maybe). But today was one of those days when I realized just how lucky I am that I didn’t end up married to the wrong guy. My life may not be perfect, and I may have to make all of these decisions on my own, and I may not have a partner in crime and foolishness, but I am happy. And I am the one who is in control of that happiness. And I have marketable skills that allow me to take care of myself.
To those of you stay-at-home-moms out there reading this, please do not mistake what I am saying. I am not saying that I think you should not be stay-at-home-moms. Nor am I saying that the work you are doing in your homes is not the most important work you could be doing right now. What I am saying is that I would rather be single than unhappily married, especially if I felt like I was trapped.
This may seem like a random post, but I recently learned that some of these girls from my freshmen year (lovely, amazing, women) who married rather young and devoted themselves to their husbands and children are now divorced and my heart goes out to them. I can’t imagine what a trial that must be.
It’s not that I think they should have made different choices. I think the best we can do is make good decisions based on the information we have at that moment. I am just very sad for them. And feeling very blessed tonight, as I sit in my itty-bitty-but-oh-so-cute apartment in New York City, thinking about the fact that I love my job and that I can pay my bills and that I’m not worried about 1/100th of the things I would guess these women are worrying about. I would also guess that these women wouldn’t trade places with me for anything because that would mean not having their oh-so-adorable children. At least I hope that’s how they feel.
The bottom-line: I’m thankful that my life is my life and my trials are my trials. And isn’t that the best thing that any of us can hope for?