Category Archives: favorite things

Grey’s dilemma…(really George’s, but I wanted a name you’d recognize).

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I watched Grey’s Anatomy tonight for maybe the third time in my life. It’s a great show, I just have not, in the recent past, been one to get into shows (other than VM, and that is entirely my sister’s doing). I think there’s part of me that feels like I’m a better person when my world doesn’t revolve around t.v. shows. Stupid, I know, but true. I realize most of you have TiVo or DVR, so your worlds don’t revolve around t.v., but you get my point. I digress.

Tonight’s episode was a little emotional for me. Not emotional, like I cried…although it wouldn’t be the first time I cried when it was inappropriate, but I didn’t…more it brought up some serious feelings. First of all, my mom died, and so any dead mom moments in any show/movie get to me. Second was the scene where George and his wife are talking about Izzie (I had to look up the names) and George laughs because, well, why would Izzie ever want him? The writers of this show did a phenomenal job with that scene. And after my weekend from Hell (I’m using that in the biblical sence) and finding out that “what’s his name?” got married (a.k.a. the ex-fiance…yes, it still hurts even when you are the one who ended things)…it just hit too close to home.

I don’t know if any of you have ever been with someone who makes you feel like you aren’t good enough…or feels the need to rate you on a scale of one to ten as compared to his ex-wife…let me just say, it is not an enjoyable experience. That’s what I felt tonight. All of the pain of that moment relived. George totally felt like he was settling and made it known.

The truth is you do need to be with someone who is compatible (i.e. you feel like equals) if you want the relationship to work. At least that’s what I’ve read. So, here’s my question: What if you view yourself differently than others see you? You like creme brule, but you’re jello? What then? How do you know that you are finding someone compatible and not settling? How do you know that the other person doesn’t feel like they’re settling? How awful would that be? We can’t all play doctors on t.v. and look like Katherine Heigl?

Just some thoughts. Great show, great writing, fabulous music.

P.S. I just downloaded the new Aqualung album. Love it!

A few little thoughts…

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1. I love sushi. I went last night with my dad and sister. I’m quite impressed with how good it was considering I am in a landlocked state. My love of sushi began in Utah when my friend, Katrina (aka Niki) introduced me to it after my mission, but I guess I thought that, now that I’ve had some seriously amazing sushi, it wouldn’t be as good…but it is, if you go to the right place. I recommend The Happy Sumo. It’s a little pricey, but delicious.

2. After sushi we went to see “The Pursuit of Happyness”. I really liked it. I know people have written bad reviews about it and I’m not saying that you should go see it. In fact, I rarely recommend movies to anyone. I have such random taste. Moving on…The movie really drove home two points to me (I believe that a movie can be quite a personal experience)…First, I am so blessed. I have never had to go through anything close to what Chris Gardner experienced (assuming those parts were true). Second, as I’m getting ready to apply to grad school and I look at my undergrad GPA, it gives me more hope. I have felt hopeful, but to watch a guy with nothing but a high school education make it with Dean Witter is inspirational. What I like is that he didn’t just strike it rich by winning the lottery, he worked hard and used his talents.

3. I’m really glad to be at a point in my life where I don’t feel the need to cater to everyone around me. Not that I want to be rude. I don’t and I like to be liked. I just don’t feel that it’s necessary to bend over backward to keep the peace anymore. If there’s tension because someone is creating it and I have no control over that person…well, let there be tension. I can always walk away.

4. I’m reading Stephen R. Covey’s, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” and it is quite good. I’m learning quite a bit. I really like how he doesn’t set anything up as a quick fix. To be successful (and I mean deep, personal success) you have to get your priorities in line and you have to be willing to work hard.

5. If you haven’t read “Freakonomics”, you should. It is so interesting. I just started and I already have it listed as a favorite. Connecting crime rates with the legalization of abortion…if that doesn’t intrigue you, I don’t know what will. Or maybe you just don’t find those things interesting.

6. I’m so happy to NOT be listening to Christmas music. KOZY 100 (or whatever the name of the station is) needs someone to give them some new Christmas music. The stuff they play is horrendous. How many times can one really be expected to listen to Kenny Rogers belting out “Mary Did You Know?”? Seriously! And we don’t have any other option here at the BYU, so it’s that or nothing…and I’m all for nothing.

7. I love iTunes and days when it is so quiet at work that my little speakers are actually loud enough to here my music. Happy, happy day!

8. Technology amazes me everyday. Our dependence on it is a little frightening, though. The network was down this morning at work and I seriously didn’t know what to do with myself. Which made me think about the other day, when I was at some store purchasing something and the total was something like $16.78 and I gave the girl $22.00 and she looked at me kind of funny and then I realized I had three cents in my wallet and told her to hold on, that I had three cents. The blank stare that appeared in front of me was amazing. She didn’t know what to do. At this point, she had already entered the $22.00 into the system and it was too late to change it. It made me sad. Kids don’t know how to do basic math anymore. That’s just basic subtraction. I took my three pennies and put them back in my wallet and she handed me the $5.22 and that was that.

9. I love my new laptop. That’s what I got for Christmas. It is so handy. I love not having to go into the house to use the internet. Speaking of technology…one computer with the internet in a house with more than one person just doesn’t seem to be enough. How sad is that??? I remember when we didn’t have the internet (aren’t we all so glad that Al Gore invented it). I remember going into one of the computer labs on campus as a freshman and watching someone “chat” on a black screen with a green font and thinking it was amazing (it was 1995), and now my nephew niece who’s eight knows how to get online and chat.

10. I love my new sunglasses. They were a gift to myself. Aren’t they fabulous? A little trendy, I’ll admit, but they make me happy. Yes, I have a problem and recognizing that is the first step to recovery.

me against myself (and the treadmill)

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Tonight I won a battle I’ve been fighting for about a month. I finally made it to the gym. But it’s not just making it to the gym. I’ve done that a few times in the last month. But I felt something change. In fact, I really won the battle yesterday, because every success in life starts in the mind. What do I believe I can do? That’s the question that really makes the difference.

It’s interesting, as I have focused this month on the things for which I am grateful, to really see just what a wonderful life I have. There are very few things I have wanted in life that I haven’t received. Yes, some of those things were handed to me, but other things I’ve had to work very hard to accomplish. So, why haven’t I been able to be consistent in exercising? Something in my mind keeps me from doing it. I let all of these thoughts and feelings of inadequacy take over. And having been through hell recently has not helped.

Tangent – should you ever find yourself dating someone who feels it’s okay to say, “I’m sure someday I’ll think you’re as beautiful as other people think you are.” Run, don’t walk, in the opposite direction. I don’t care how great you think he is. I don’t care if he’s the best makeout you’ve ever had. I don’t care if he speaks French. I don’t care if he is brilliant. None of that makes up for someone caring so little about your feelings that he would say something like that to you.

Moving on…tonight I made it to the gym and it was amazing. I’m not in the shape I was five years ago, but you just can’t feel bad about yourself when you’re running on a treadmill. Even as I watched these girls who are in much better shape than I am, I thought, “I’m doing it. I’m here and I’m doing what I need to do.” As the Chinese proverb teaches, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

And there’s something so gratifying about feeling your heart pound against your chest and the burning in your legs as you push your body to its limits, even if it is the first step. Okay, so maybe not everyone feels quite like that…but you know you feel good when you move your body. Whatever your drug of choice, whether it’s going for a walk, attempting to play (is play the right word?) DDR, jumping on a trampoline, I promise it works. Maybe not the first time for everyone, but it does work. And it helps that I had on the really cute tracksuit pictured above.

Here’s a little excerpt of some findings that I thought were very interesting:
Effects [of exercise] on Emotional Disorders

Some research has suggested that exercise may have antidepressant effects. Although there is little strong evidence that exercise can help manage depression, a number of studies have suggested benefits. Research finding include:

Just 30 minutes of brisk exercise three times a week was as effective as medication in relieving the symptoms and reducing relapse in many patients with mild to moderate depression.

  • Over half of older women with depression that did not respond to medication improved with 10 weeks of exercise. (About a third of women who did not exercise also improved during that time.)
  • Studies on elderly, depressed patients report modest benefits from exercise, even in those who do not response to antidepressants. (Simply participating in a group activity may help improve mood.)
  • Teenagers who were active in sports have a greater sense of well being than their sedentary peers; the more vigorously they exercised, the better their emotional health.
  • A 2003 study found that physical inactivity is strongly linked to depression in children 8 to 12 years of age.

    • Here’s the link if you want to read more: http://www.well-onnected.com/report.cgi/000029_9.htm

    My advice for today? (Don’t you love that she who just started exercising is handing out advice?) Get up and move. It will make you happy! (If not today, eventually).

    *Please consult a physician before commencing any kind of exercise program.

    my party and ddr

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    Happy Birthday to me!!!

    How cute are my friends?

    Catherine (the one blowing the candle out with me) and I had a combined birthday party. I think almost everyone had a good time. The DDR pictures are coming soon. If you’re not familiar with DDR, you should be. Dance Dance Revolution is a fantastic game (activity)! I laughed so hard. I consider myself fairly coordinated (all those years of cheerleading and step-aerobics), but evidently, I am not. I’m sure with a little more practice, I can become a DDR master. I have found my new calling!!! And I thought it was going to take a few years to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. It’s just like they say, it’s when you’re not looking for it, that it comes to you (I think “they” meant romance, but…whatever).
    So, to be honest, I only got on the dance pads twice (and once wasn’t in front of everyone), but I still think I could be the next American DDR Champion. Where’s my reality show??? (And no, there are no pictures of me participating…perhaps after the next party.)


    This is DDR. Doesn’t it make you want to get up and dance just looking at the pictures. Now, as my quest for champion status continues, the question is, how am I going to do it without owning it? A dilemma for another day.