Category Archives: commentary

Up With Grups*

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Sarah sent me the following email:

the article i was telling you about that talks about “grups.” and the sad part was that when i finished it, i, too, wanted to be one. ha. shocker.

Up With Grups*

great article.

-sarah 😉

Hopefully, she doesn’t mind that I’m sharing this. I want to say two things. One, Sarah is not yet old enough to be a Grup, but she is heading the right direction (and I think she is fabulous). Second, I, too, would like to be a Grup one day…and while I’m much closer to it in age, Sarah has me beaten in style. It is so great to have friends with such excellent taste.

interview with a blogger…

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Jennifer was recently interviewed on her blog by another blogger. She offered to interview anyone who was interested with five questions of her choosing, and I took her up on it. Here are her questions and my answers.

1. If your life was being made into a movie, which actress is most likely to play you?
This is an interesting question. The first one that came to mind was Tina Yothers…sad, but true. I guess because she was a chubby, annoying little sister with long blonde hair. But really, she’s a little too annoying. So, continuing on. Maybe Drew Barrymore, our facial structures are somewhat similar (the whole pronounced chin thing is what I’m thinking of), but she’s not one of my favorite actresses. She could definitely capture my more comedic side, and my silliness, but I’m not sure that she’d get the deeper part of me. “What deeper part?”, you ask. Oh, there’s a deeper part. A deep, dark chocolate layer. Yes, she could do it. It would be a combination of her characters in Never Been Kissed (yes, I’m admitting a lot right here), Duplex (I didn’t love the movie, but I liked her character a lot), and Fever Pitch. I think that covers it…intelligent and funny with some definite dorkiness. Now, considering that at the moment, there’s would be no leading man, let’s hope that, in the future when there is one, he’s more like Michael Vartan’s character, than Ben Stiller’s or Jimmy Fallon’s. While I like Jimmy Fallon, I cannot handle obsessive sports fans.

2. If you could only see the world in four colors, which would you choose?
I guess this doesn’t mean that I could pick CMYK color model and get all of the colors from there. Hmm, I think I would choose white (yes, I know it’s not really a color, but all of the colors, but I’m choosing it anyway), green, blue and pink.

3. What do you most often eat for breakfast?
Diet Coke. I’m just trying to be honest. I know that you don’t technically “eat” a DC, but that’s what I consume. I am working on breakfast, thought. Generally, when I make the time, I have cereal. And I’m not a sugar cereal type…well, not in the morning. I like Total in the morning with really, really cold non-fat milk. But, once again, the real answer is Diet Coke.

4. Will you give your children an allowance?
Absolutely. But it will be more of a compensation for doing chores willingly. And I say “willingly” because there will be no choice in the chores department, that is, whether or not they do them. But if they complete them when they are supposed to without complaint, then they will be given an allowance. I think it’s important for kids to learn how to be responsible with money, how to earn it, save it, pay tithing, make educated choices about how they spend it. You know what they say, those who can do and those who can’t teach. Well, when it comes to money management, I’m a teacher!

5. What is your favorite material possession? What would you be willing to give it up for?
Wow, with as materialistic as I can be, this was easy. It’s a scrapbook my grandmother gave me of my mom. It has pictures from when my mom was a little girl all the way up to just before she died. It also includes memoirs that each of her siblings (my aunts and uncle) and my grandmother wrote about her, as well as the beautiful eulogy that her best friend, Sydne, gave. And since we got those a year or so ago, I have since added my things to it such as notes that she wrote me and pictures that I had. And I don’t know that I would give it up for anything. My siblings all have copies, but since I have added to mine, there would be no way to totally replace it. Maybe if I could have my mom back. Does that count? It is by far my most precious possession.

So, do you want to be interviewed? Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions (provided I have a way to email you – if not, I will post the five questions to your blog). I get to pick the questions. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. Let the games continue.

pet peeves…

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I don’t have many, but after the day I had, I have realized that there are a few things that really, really bug me.

1. Late people. This is pet peeve Numero Uno. And I’m not talking the occasional 15 minutes, or the perpetual 5 minutes. I’m talking about chronically late, the regularly 15 minutes or more late. This drives me crazy. What it communicates is that the offender is more important than whomever may be waiting for him or her. Do late people get this? Do all of you chronically late people understand that what you are are saying on a regular basis without coming right out and uttering the actual words is, “my time is more important than your time and therefore, it is okay for you to have to wait for me.” Aaaahhh! So, irritating!

2. Bad drivers. This really means slow, non-aggressive drivers. You don’t need to be a speed-racer. I’ve definitely slowed down since the insurance payments started coming out of my checking account. But, seriously, if traffic is passing you on the right, move over! And if you need to change lanes, signal and do it. Just commit and get it over with.

3. Condescending people. Now, those of you who have known me for a long time might be thinking, “Wow, if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black.” And yes, it is. I have been and still can be condescending and I know it and, despite what you all might think, I’m really trying to do better because I hate it when people do it to me, or my friends, or anyone, for that matter. It drives me insane. And it’s just rude. Please don’t treat my like I’m two. Please don’t give me advice I have not solicited. And for heaven’s sake, please don’t tell me what I will or won’t or should or shouldn’t think, feel, be, do, and I will do the same.

And since some of you are currently wondering why I have any friends at all, I will satisfy your curiosity. I pay them…lots and lots of money, which explains my spending problem.

things I am glad my mother, father and grandmother taught me…

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Some of these are humorous (but they are things my parents have said), some are serious, but I am thankful for all of them because they are words that have helped, either by giving me great advice, a path to follow, hope, or just making me laugh…and some my dad will swear he never said, but he did.

1. “It always works out.” Words my mother often repeated…anytime we, her children, were upset, feeling sorry for ourselves, angry or hurt. As for myself, this is where my faith in God comes from.
2. “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Something my mother tried to teach us over and over again…something I still haven’t managed to master.
3. You should always do your hair and put on your makeup when going out in public. This is not something I was told specifically, but something I learned watching my mother and grandmother over the years.
4. You should use your best China more often than not.
5. The appropriate silverware for the appropriate course. We had etiquette dinners for our eighth birthdays.
6. That serving Sunday dinner to guests on disposable anything is inappropriate. (And actually, my grandma would say that disposable anything is inappropriate, but I’m not quite that extreme).
7. That, when there are less than six people at the table, it’s inappropriate to start eating if everyone doesn’t have their food (unless those without food tell you to go ahead).
8. How to bake…and that we were worth the time, energy and mess.
9. That water can destroy anything. Random, I know, but extremely useful.
10. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
11. How to make Swedish pancakes.
12. That you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
13. There is such a thing as hair that is too long.
14. The worst thing you can do is not try, because if you don’t try, the result is no better than if you try and fail. So, you might as well try. This philosophy helped me make cheer leading, sing in audition choirs in both high school and college, be an exchange student, and land a job or two.
15. “The fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone.” Words my dad told my sister after a bad break-up. Obviously, he was kidding…but it was worth a good laugh.
16. “You can marry more money in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime.” (Yes, it’s a joke…well, it’s true, but my dad wasn’t making any kind of suggestions)
17. “It’s just as easy to fall in love with some rich as it is to fall in love with someone poor.” (Same as above, only my mom said this.)
18. When you are cold, the best way to warm up quickly is to clean a bathroom.
19. How to clean a bathroom so the water sheets down the shower walls and there’s no Comet residue on the bathtub.
20. That I can always move home if I need to.
21. How much I am loved.
22. That you should do the right thing for the right reason.
23. That you really do feel better if you make your bed in the morning.
24. How to make a bed with hospital corners.
25. That there really are certain styles, cuts and colors that are more flattering than others.
26. That I meant more to my mom than a perfect house. (She let me splatter and sponge paint my bedroom when I was fifteen. It was peach, turquoise, hot pink and light pink…all to match this really bright bedding she’d purchased for me. I hope I will be such a good mother to my children some day).
27. That no matter what I do, or what someone else does, my family is my family.
28. That no matter how little I have, I can always give.
29. That we were worth the time and energy necessary to coach (or assistant coach) our soccer, swimming, volleyball, softball, and basketball teams. (Yes, my mom was amazing). Oh, and be our Brownie and Girl Scout leader.
30. How to drive while putting on mascara. (Mom)
31. That, after a certain age, you should always have lipstick on. (And I’m not quite there yet, plus my lips are tattooed and I always have gloss on, so I think that counts.)
32. How to make the best bar-b-que-d chicken ever.
33. To love all people, no matter what color or nationality, no matter how rich or poor.
34. That traveling is always worth it.
35. That you are never too old to learn something new.
36. And the last (and most important for now), blasting Neil Diamond while driving the Party Van with the windows down really can make you feel better.

Okay…I know there’s more. But I think this is a good place to stop.

random thoughts, realizations, and confessions…

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1. I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Not that I am dying to be in one, but I think it’s healthy to think about whether or not I am where I want to be in order to be in one. Does that make sense? Anyway, twice a year, my church has a world wide conference, called General Conference. One happened to fall this last weekend. I came to the realization, as I listened to a great talk given by a man named Jeffrey R. Holland about emotional abuse and how our words can really hurt people, that I am not where I want to be . Well, I realized that this is one of my weaknesses. Sometimes I say really mean things and sometimes, when I do it, I think I am being funny. I don’t want to be that person.

It was also interesting to think about my mother (he mentioned that parents should not compare or criticize children) and realize that I don’t have a single memory of her ever criticizing me or comparing me to my siblings. I am so sad to no longer have her physically with me, but what a blessing to have had such a great mom while she was alive. I hope she knows how much I appreciate that and how blessed I feel.

2. There were several other great talks given (the conference is four, two-hour sessions), but the other one that really struck me was given by Dallin H. Oaks about divorce. He talked about how sad it is that today marriage is often not taken seriously; people aren’t willing to work at it and all too often want out for a number of stupid reasons. I want to mention that he also said that there are reasons to get out of a marriage and that sometimes divorce is necessary. But one of my favorite things that he said was that the best way to not need to divorce someone who is abusive or adulterous, etc., is to do not marry them. And the best way to not marry them is to get to know them really well. Not exactly rocket science, I know, but sometimes the basics are what we need to hear.

3. I want to read the bible from cover to cover. My 30th birthday is quickly approaching and I have yet to read the bible in entirety…and I have been religious my entire life. It’s embarrassing, I know. So, I started Sunday night. So far, so good. Granted, it’s only Tuesday, but I’m going to take that as a good sign.

4. I am tired of obsessing about how I look (in other words, how much I weigh), so I haven’t weighed myself in over two weeks (if your not a scale junkie, just realize that this is a big deal) and I’m trying to just relax about it and be healthy. Last night, I invited my friend Catherine over and instead of hanging out and sitting on our bums, we went for a walk and got in our fill of gabbing. It was great! I think we covered about three miles and I felt so good afterward.

5. I haven’t had voice lessons in over three months, which makes me sad, so today, I set up a time and I am back on track next Monday.

6. I really like my dad. It’s one thing to love your parents, but over the past few months being at home (in the apartment over the garage) and spending time with him, I have come to the conclusion that he really is a good person and I really enjoy spending time with him. And he’s seriously funny! Now, that isn’t the first impression most people get, but he really is hilarious.

7. I took a cake decorating class when I was in fifth grade and I still remember how to make clowns out of frosting…but since that’s almost the only thing I remember, I am starting a cake decorating class this week. How fun is that?

8. Sometimes I purchase and listen to music not because I like it, but because I want to like it or I think I should like it. And sometimes I do the same thing with food (well, eat rather than listen to, but you get what I mean)…and movies,. And usually, I end up liking what I wanted to like in the first place, but I wonder why I do that. What am I trying to prove and to whom? And why can’t I do that with people?

9. I’m heading down to Vegas this weekend and I am so excited. Not only am I excited to see my brother, sister-in-law and nephew (is he not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?), but I’m also excited for some good driving/alone time. I basically live by myself, so you would think that I have plenty of alone time, but there is something nice about 5 hours (yes, I also like to drive fast), uninterrupted with nothing to do but look at the road ahead and listen to whatever I want to listen to…for example, the same song 100 times in a row if I so choose.

10. I love that when my sister calls in a crisis wanting me to come down and help her get the baby’s room ready for the baby shower, I can do it because a) I am single and have no husband or children of my own to worry about, b) I now work a M-F job, so I can easily head down to AZ for the weekend without needing to reschedule clients and c) we have a father who, despite his complaints about how much money we cost him (yes, we are all grown-ups and still cost him money), he is always willing to help us help each other (i.e. buy my plane ticket down there because he knows I’m working my way out of debt and that it will really help my sister feel less stressed about life).

Interestingly and on a side note, in doing the math, the cost of my plane ticket is about equal to what it would cost for my sister to have the baby’s room painted (which is essentially what I’m going down to do), but my dad would never pay to have the room painted. He is, however, willing to pay for me to go down there to do it. Once upon a time, I didn’t understand his logic, but now that I’m older, I can see all of the ways we are better people because of it. For instance, I do an amazing job cutting in edges free hand (I hate taping things off).