Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is a bit of a rough holiday chez the Andersen’s. But, as the years have gone by since my mom died, I’ve realized how blessed I am to have had such a wonderful mom while she was with us, and to know that she will always be my mom. I’ve also realized that I have amazing women in my life who do a great job at filling in the gap of not having my own mother here. I’m not sure that they know how much they really do for me, and much of it is just knowing that they are there, should I ever need something. It really is amazing how, as my mother taught me so many years ago, “It always works out.” Not necessarily without tears and heartache, but God really does make sure that we are taken care of.

random thoughts, realizations, and confessions…

1. I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Not that I am dying to be in one, but I think it’s healthy to think about whether or not I am where I want to be in order to be in one. Does that make sense? Anyway, twice a year, my church has a world wide conference, called General Conference. One happened to fall this last weekend. I came to the realization, as I listened to a great talk given by a man named Jeffrey R. Holland about emotional abuse and how our words can really hurt people, that I am not where I want to be . Well, I realized that this is one of my weaknesses. Sometimes I say really mean things and sometimes, when I do it, I think I am being funny. I don’t want to be that person.

It was also interesting to think about my mother (he mentioned that parents should not compare or criticize children) and realize that I don’t have a single memory of her ever criticizing me or comparing me to my siblings. I am so sad to no longer have her physically with me, but what a blessing to have had such a great mom while she was alive. I hope she knows how much I appreciate that and how blessed I feel.

2. There were several other great talks given (the conference is four, two-hour sessions), but the other one that really struck me was given by Dallin H. Oaks about divorce. He talked about how sad it is that today marriage is often not taken seriously; people aren’t willing to work at it and all too often want out for a number of stupid reasons. I want to mention that he also said that there are reasons to get out of a marriage and that sometimes divorce is necessary. But one of my favorite things that he said was that the best way to not need to divorce someone who is abusive or adulterous, etc., is to do not marry them. And the best way to not marry them is to get to know them really well. Not exactly rocket science, I know, but sometimes the basics are what we need to hear.

3. I want to read the bible from cover to cover. My 30th birthday is quickly approaching and I have yet to read the bible in entirety…and I have been religious my entire life. It’s embarrassing, I know. So, I started Sunday night. So far, so good. Granted, it’s only Tuesday, but I’m going to take that as a good sign.

4. I am tired of obsessing about how I look (in other words, how much I weigh), so I haven’t weighed myself in over two weeks (if your not a scale junkie, just realize that this is a big deal) and I’m trying to just relax about it and be healthy. Last night, I invited my friend Catherine over and instead of hanging out and sitting on our bums, we went for a walk and got in our fill of gabbing. It was great! I think we covered about three miles and I felt so good afterward.

5. I haven’t had voice lessons in over three months, which makes me sad, so today, I set up a time and I am back on track next Monday.

6. I really like my dad. It’s one thing to love your parents, but over the past few months being at home (in the apartment over the garage) and spending time with him, I have come to the conclusion that he really is a good person and I really enjoy spending time with him. And he’s seriously funny! Now, that isn’t the first impression most people get, but he really is hilarious.

7. I took a cake decorating class when I was in fifth grade and I still remember how to make clowns out of frosting…but since that’s almost the only thing I remember, I am starting a cake decorating class this week. How fun is that?

8. Sometimes I purchase and listen to music not because I like it, but because I want to like it or I think I should like it. And sometimes I do the same thing with food (well, eat rather than listen to, but you get what I mean)…and movies,. And usually, I end up liking what I wanted to like in the first place, but I wonder why I do that. What am I trying to prove and to whom? And why can’t I do that with people?

9. I’m heading down to Vegas this weekend and I am so excited. Not only am I excited to see my brother, sister-in-law and nephew (is he not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?), but I’m also excited for some good driving/alone time. I basically live by myself, so you would think that I have plenty of alone time, but there is something nice about 5 hours (yes, I also like to drive fast), uninterrupted with nothing to do but look at the road ahead and listen to whatever I want to listen to…for example, the same song 100 times in a row if I so choose.

10. I love that when my sister calls in a crisis wanting me to come down and help her get the baby’s room ready for the baby shower, I can do it because a) I am single and have no husband or children of my own to worry about, b) I now work a M-F job, so I can easily head down to AZ for the weekend without needing to reschedule clients and c) we have a father who, despite his complaints about how much money we cost him (yes, we are all grown-ups and still cost him money), he is always willing to help us help each other (i.e. buy my plane ticket down there because he knows I’m working my way out of debt and that it will really help my sister feel less stressed about life).

Interestingly and on a side note, in doing the math, the cost of my plane ticket is about equal to what it would cost for my sister to have the baby’s room painted (which is essentially what I’m going down to do), but my dad would never pay to have the room painted. He is, however, willing to pay for me to go down there to do it. Once upon a time, I didn’t understand his logic, but now that I’m older, I can see all of the ways we are better people because of it. For instance, I do an amazing job cutting in edges free hand (I hate taping things off).

mission memories revisted…

The joys of packages in the MTC (Alicia kept them coming regularly for the entire two months I was there)…Can you guess which holiday this was for?

It’s seems that my life just doesn’t slow down. Thankfully, there are moments, in the chaos of it all, that slow me down a little now and then. This weekend, spending time with my sister and her husband, was one of them. The last two days, spent with my friend Patricia before dropping her off at the Missionary Training Center today was another.

Patricia flew into Salt Lake Monday evening. She looked a little shell-shocked at the airport. She left her family and friends in Phoenix (that’s how we know each other) to head on a mission in upstate New York. We spent Monday evening, and Tuesday evening, and most of today, actually, discussing the ins, outs, ups, and downs of the mission.

It brought back so many memories. I can’t believe how long ago it was and I can’t believe how fast it went by. Patricia’s excited to be a return missionary (i.e. be able to say that she went on a mission), but she’s not so sure about the 18 months between here and there. (Time out – Oh, how I wish I were Cameron Diaz with Jude Law taking my face in his hands to kiss me…I’m simultaneously watching The Holiday…two days with a missionary who can’t watch t.v. or movies makes you really value entertainment).

Back to Patricia…it was so fun to have those moments to think about my mission and share (I’m sure Patricia was so glad to get away since my mouth was running constantly) all of the little tidbits of wisdom I picked up along the way; like, to not waste her preparation days writing letters all day long, (Jude Law is so pretty and what is it with a British accent that just makes me swoon?) or to remember that she, Patricia, was the one called on a mission and not some version of what she thinks the ideal missionary should be.

I remember thinking so many times on my mission, “I wish that I could work as hard as Sister so and so” or “I wish I was as focused as Sister so and so” or “I wish I knew the scriptures like Elder so and so”, etc, etc, etc…and I could go on and on and on. It was such a great day, when I was sitting across from a wonderful woman at her kitchen table and realized, after sharing a perfectly empathetic moment, that only I could be me. I know…very profound. “Thanks for stating the obvious,” you say. We waste so much of our lives trying to be what we think we ought to be, instead of just being ourselves, the best that we know how.

I won’t weary you with all of the other wonderfully tedious reflections, but it really was a fabulous experience (the mission…and the reflecting). I have been slightly self-indulgent with the pictures to follow. I think there are about 20. They are the classic MTC and airport pics (along with some not so classic ones) from my mission. All of the reflecting and pulling out of the photo albums inspired me to share.

The classic “dork dot” picture…(New missionaries get this little orange dot on their tags so that everyone can spot them a mile away…it hasn’t changed in since my sister left on her mission 11 years ago.)

And the map picture….

Followed by the companion picture…And the picture by the sign…My district in class…Gotta love the bunk beds at age 21. I guess they went well with Soeur (“sister” in French) Padilla’s Winnie the Pooh that you can see in the background…and I wonder why we didn’t get along. Hmm…
Doing our “service” hours, cleaning the dorms…Flexing for the camera (Hermana Lafferty, a friend from before the mission who was headed to South America somewhere, and I ran 3 miles every morning…the only thing that kept me from gaining the MTC weight)…
That, and the All-Bran that kept me regular…(Yes, I realize that might be too much information for some of you. Yes, I was 21 and obviously super mature, as evidenced by posing “see-food” style for this picture. And yes, I still eat it like that, milk and All-Bran combining only in the mouth.)
The “we’re hugging without touching” pose…
And my most favorite companion ever, Soeur Olsen…aka Vicky Sattler.

I don’t know that this is classic, but we had blossoms in February. This was after we went from a threesome to two companionships. Oh, the drama…The Andersen’s at the airport(minus the oldest and his wife and, at the time, two children), acting all serious and stuff (obviously this was pre-9/11, as they are at the gate with me)… And that’s where the serious ended…

The Andersen’s plus the grandmas…

The three musketeers…can you guess who’s the oldest???Apparently, Dorothy didn’t think Justin on my back was such a good idea. Something about my back???

And the classic (so classic, it could be a scene right out of the next low-budget, Mormon movie–I’m not talking about the ones the Church produces) “hug goodbye at the gate” pose…

And off I go to SwitzerlandExcept for my layover at JFK, where I was able to spend a little (a very little) QT with Sydne (the next best thing to my mom), Ashley, and Daphne.

And then I was a real missionary…and I finally got rid of the bubble bangs, only to be replaced by a headband, extra weight and some serious frumpiness, ha ha ha.

One last thought about the MTC and missions. I love the whole drop-off experience. It’s emotionally draining and heart wrenching, but I love it. It’s so amazing to look at all of these young men and women who are willing to take two years or 18 months out of their lives, without a vacation, or even a day off during the whole thing, to go out into the world and teach people about God and pay for the whole thing, too. I mean, you can’t help but get emotional. I love it. And then to see all of the moms and dads and brothers and sister so sad to see their son or daughter or sister or brother leaving…there is so much love in that one room, it is completely overwhelming. The best kind of overwhelming there is.

So, it was a long last thought. That’s how my mind works. And with that, I’m off.

praying for mediocrity and stagnation…

I belong to a church where we are asked to serve in different positions. There is not a paid clergy, so every one in a congregation is expected to serve in some capacity. For a long time, my calling (that’s the term for it) was to teach a class once a month to the women in the ward (our term for parish or congregation). I think I’ve done it four different times in four different wards since I turned 18 and became part of the women’s organization known as the Relief Society. It has been my calling in this ward since I joined it, so almost eight months. I love it because I feel like I do a good job and I get a lot out of it, as well. It’s a balance between what I am able to give and what I receive.

Well, on Sunday, I got a phone call from our ward executive secretary (the bishop’s assistant) asking me if I could be at church about 20 minutes early to meet with a member or the bishopric. Never a fun call to get because it almost always means a new responsibility. My mind started going through the possibilities as I hurried to expedite my prepping process (cutting a girl off 20 minutes early when she has already planned and accounted for said 20 minutes is just cruel). I knew that I would be called as the Relief Society president because, generally, those callings are extended by a bishop directly and that was a relief. I thought maybe a Sunday School teacher, which would have been fine. But that’s where the contemplating ended.

As I met with one of the members of the bishopric, he told me that I would be getting a new calling (shocking), and then he said, “Well, it will kind of be in addition to what you are already doing.” There was hope. Hope that I would just receive an additional calling…but, no. The reason that Brother Brockbank told me that I would be doing something in addition to my current calling is because, when you are a member of the Relief Society presidency, you are able to teach once every three months. Whoopee. He asked if I would be willing to be a member of that presidency as the second counselor over Home, Family and Personal Enrichment. First of all, I don’t even attend Enricment activities half the time. Second, if I accepted, I would have to plan, prepare, delegate and make phone calls. I have to get to know all of the women and make sure they are all doing okay. I have to attend presidency meetings every Sunday and another meeting every other Sunday. As a teacher, I only had to prepare, no meetings, no phone calls, no delegating. It was perfect.

I have learned throughout my life and the many callings I’ve had that accepting a calling is always the best idea, even if you aren’t super excited about it at first. The hardest thing, this time, was the realization that I was praying for this change. Maybe not directly, but nonetheless, I was praying for it. I have recently realized that I am not the same kind, loving, compassionate person I once was and that I am not very good at delegating (without micromanaging) and I have been praying to improve in those areas. I should know better than to pray for something like that, because God answers prayers.

things I am thankful for today…

1. I am thankful for fun coworkers who make an all day seminar more than bearable.
2. I am thankful for my friends – specifically (today) the ones that are a part of my life for forever…even if I only see them every three years (Jaimie, I promise I will do better).
3. I am thankful for forgiveness.
4. I am thankful that I have a nice car that runs beautifully and is totally reliable.
5. I am thankful for a cute nephew with whom I get to play all weekend while his mom and dad are off to Park City.
6. I am thankful that I cry in movies, even when most people wouldn’t cry.
7. I am thankful for my pretty green eyes.
8. I am thankful for new clothes from H&M.
9. I am thankful that I have goals.
10. I am thankful that I’m not the same person I was five years ago…even if that does mean an extra ten pounds.
11. I am thankful that I have done so many amazing things in my life, like living in Hawaii, diving shipwrecks, running with bulls, graduating college, backpacking through Europe, serving a mission and purchasing my own house.
12. I am thankful that I love my job. While I don’t plan on being here for the rest of my life, I love the people I work with.
13. I am thankful for music, especially memory filled songs.
14. I am thankful for a heart that is finally healing.
15. I am thankful for nice boys (and I really mean men, but…that makes me feel really old).
16. I am thankful that I love to laugh.
17. I am thankful that I served a mission and that I live by the MTC right now so that I can volunteer every week.
18. I am thankful that, this week, I had my priorities in order.
19. I am thankful that I know that God loves me.
20. I am thankful that I know He answers my prayers.
21. I am thankful for ping-pong conversations.
22. I am thankful that tomorrow is Friday.
23. Last of all, I am thankful for the abundance (that’s for you, Catherine) of blessings that I can see in my life right now.