I have a feeling not all girls feel the same way I do, but whatever. I’ll own this. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on what my goal is), I think the majority of men who read my blog are married, so this information won’t be useful. Except to me because sometimes public venting (you know, to my 50 some anonymous and not so anonymous readers) is the way to go. And by useful, I don’t necessarily mean that I’m educating you in the ways of women, but this will give you insight into just how crazy we can be. And by “we” I mean “I”. So here goes…
Dear guy friend,
I don’t care how established we might seem as platonic friends, unless I initiate the conversation I probably don’t want to talk to you about my single girlfriends so that you can ask them out. It’s not that I don’t want my single girlfriends to date. I do. And it’s not that I don’t want you to date them. Assuming we’re friends, I probably think you’re a good guy worth dating. It’s that, inside my head what I hear is not, “Hey, is your friend dating someone?” What I hear is, “In case there was any doubt, I’m not at all interested in you in that way.”
Don’t worry. I’ll answer you. And I’ll pretend like it’s not a big deal. And I’ll get over it. And in reality, I’m probably not interested in you that way. But it will hurt my feelings and/or ego for a little bit. So maybe, instead of asking me if my friend is dating someone…just ask her yourself. It might be a bit of a risk for you, but it will be flattering for her and it will keep me from getting my feelings hurt. And, if you need her contact information…well, that’s what Facebook is for. You see, I want you to be successful. I want you to date. I want you to find love. Just not at my expense.
Okay, so now that I write it down, I realize just how pathetic this sounds. But, you know, I’ve never claimed otherwise.
totally, completely understand this feeling. every time i hear it (and i've heard it a few times) i think, "here we go again…"thanks for saying what we're all thinking
seriously, so true. please keep writing these things. somebody needs to. 🙂
Totally agree. I had a guy friend text me "your friend Lisa is hot." And I know I shouldn't take it this way…but what I heard was, "Your friend Lisa is hot; you, however are not." I know. A bit of an overreaction but I don't really want to hear about how hot my friend Lisa is from a boy.
Right there with ya.
Yup. 100% agree. So at least one other girl feels the same way you do 🙂
you're not pathetic.but it sounds like he definitely is.
so not pathetic, by the way. i completely agree!!