Why is it that I say such stupid things when I’m upset? I’m sure there’s some physiological reason for this, not that it’s an excuse, but it might make me feel better.
And really, I’ve gotten much better about it, especially when I’m angry at someone for how they’ve treated me. The problem is when I’m upset with someone for how they are treating someone I care about. I have a much harder time controlling what I say. But really, most of the time, these situations are none of my business. And most of the time, there is a lot more going on than what I think is going on. There are almost always (as I often discover after opening my big mouth) a number of factors that I a) didn’t know about and/or b) didn’t consider. And yet. And yet…
Anyway, you’re not getting the details of my latest debacle, not because I’m not willing to share (I think it’s obvious that there is very little about myself that I won’t share), but because there’s no point in perpetuating my problem via the interwebs.
It’s just an interesting experience to be slapped in the face by your own bad behavior and wish you could take it back, but know that all you can do is apologize and try harder next time. What I need to figure out is what is really behind the mean things that come out of my mouth so that I can not say them. Or maybe it’s not about not saying anything. Maybe it’s about expressing myself in a more constructive way. Hmm. Something to think about. If only silence and I could get along.