If any of the trailers don’t show up, try refreshing the page. Apparently, they’re a little shy at times. Also, be warned (thanks Adriane for the comment), some of the trailers may give away a lot of the movie.

Dear Becoming Jane,

Whoever decided that a woman in her mid-thirties should look like an old maid on her death bed is an idiot. You were a great movie. Sad, but great. I loved so many things about you. But really, that last scene almost killed you. You just needed to fire whoever was calling the shots on Anne Hathaway’s makeup. I realize that Jane Austen didn’t have the many, many anti-aging methods now available, but really, there is no way she looked like that. I mean, her sister-in-law was older than she was and didn’t look so old. Were you trying to send a message that married people age better than single people? Were you trying to make me dread my thirties? Help me understand what you would allow such a travesty to happen.

With much sadness and fear for my future,

Chloe

Dear mother who thought bringing her 1-year-old to see Bourne Supremacy in the theater was a good idea,

Why would you ever think that was a good idea? First, it’s totally inconsiderate. If you can’t find a babysitter, don’t go to the movie. Or go see Shrek 3. Or wait until you can find a sitter. Or wait until the movie comes out of video.

If it was only for my comfort, I would not be writing this letter. However, that is not my only concern, nor is it my greatest. I don’t know if you realize this, but the decibel level in movie theaters can and will seriously damage your poor child’s ears. It’s one thing for us, as adults, to subject ourselves to the ear-damaging sound in the theater, it is quite another to inflict it on an infant. Especially since infants’ ears are so much more sensitive, and thus, more easily damaged.

My final concern is similar to the second. Do you really want to expose your baby to all of that violence as a baby? I mean, really. Do you think just because your baby can’t talk that he can’t be damaged by all of it?

I realize that I don’t have children and so, may not understand how hard it is to forgo my desires for my baby’s health and well-being. But I’m pretty sure that I will think about those things before getting myself pregnant. Maybe you should have, as well.

With much concern,

A single girl who wonders why you get to be a mother right now and she doesn’t

Dear High School Musical 2,

While I fully expected cheese and was very entertained by it, and you have provided me with a fantastic new “breakup song”, I do have limits and those limits start with fake shooting stars, followed closely by singing reflections in a pond, and end with lanterns that mysteriously float away, when nothing about the movie contains any other “magic”. Oh, and I can’t neglect to mention the fireworks. Seriously, you need to fire your special effects people if that’s what they are producing. Or your writers, if that’s what they wrote into the script. Or whoever made the decision not leave those bits of film on the cutting room floor.

With much embarrassment (for you and me),

A closet fan

Dear Hairspray,

Thank you! I love you! I wasn’t sure what I thought about John Travolta, but he was divine, as were all of the other actors. I even liked Amanda Bynes. All of it was amazing…okay, maybe the singing picture of Tracy was a bit much, but you’re a musical, so I guess it’s to be expected. Oh, and excellent choice with Christopher Walken. As Sarah put it, “he’s hilarious and terrifying all at the same time.” I can’t say enough about you. You are a new favorite. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t have chosen Michelle Pfeiffer. I mean, she’s kind of fake looking and really, her singing voice is not my favorite. And even that’s forgivable. I mean, the audience is supposed to hate her, and I did. You are really and truly brilliant. Perfectly delightful!

With much love,

A huge fan (not huge like Edna Turnblad, but huge in the sense that I really love you and sing your praises)

Dear Stardust,

Thank you for being such a perfect movie. You have everything, laughter, adventure and romance. You will be the next DVD I purchase now that I have a budget. You are The Princess Bride for my generation. Okay, so The Princess Bride was The Princess Bride for my generation. But you are fantastic just the same.

I do have to say that I am truly grateful that the first time I saw you there were no crazy hyenas in the audience. I wonder if that woman knew she sounded like a crazy fool. Hmm? Anyway, even with the loud and inappropriately timed laughter, I liked you even more the second time. Robert De Niro was perfect for his role. And that Charlie Cox…delicious!

With many smiles,

A huge fan of the truly romantic comedy