Dear Justin’s neighbor,

Who taught you that it’s okay to stop by and ask for my brother to help you hang your wine rack on a Sunday afternoon? Without calling? And who didn’t teach you that when you see that your neighbor has company (aka me), you should retract your request? And who taught you that once my brother was at your house and had finished what you originally asked him to do, that it would be okay to ask him to do a few more things? Just curious…because I’d like to teach that person a few things.

A seriously concerned and irritated sister of your way too nice neighbor

Dear Justin,

Who taught you to be so nice and to always be willing to do things for others? Okay, so it was Mom. But seriously, you were sick and I was in town. You really can say ‘no’. I promise, it’s okay. Having said that, I really do love that you are like that and hope that I will be so lucky to someday marry someone who possesses that quality.

Love,

Your favorite sister (I won’t tell if you won’t)

Dear Chocolate Tuxedo Cream Cheesecake,

Thank you for being worth the majority of my FLEX points for this week. I debated for a while when we were at The Cheesecake Factory, but finally gave in because you have never once let me down. Saturday was not different. All of that chocolatey, creamy goodness did not disappoint. If I had to marry a cheesecake, it would be you! My taste buds thank you and I thank you!

Sincerely,

A serious chocoholic who needed a little fix

Dear loud, drunk people at the back of the plane coming back from Vegas last night,

SHUT UP!!!

Thank you,

Someone who has to work for a living

Dear Southwest Airlines,

Thank you for almost always being late. Especially when I’m already on the late flight and I’m not scheduled to get to SLC until 12:15 am. Those lost thirty minutes of sleep last night made for a great nap today during my lunch hour and I always have the best dreams when I’m napping (best, as in funky, weird, scary and altogether unnerving). Without those lost minutes of sleep, I might not have napped, or dreamt that I was dating a Japanese Scott Baio. Yeah, don’t ask me. Seriously. Thank you.

Sincerely,

A newly situational insomniac

And last, but not least…

Dear Spike (the fish who sits on my desk while his owner is away defending his dissertation…a fish who will be mine when said owner finishes his internship…a fish who will then be called “Stanley” because I have always wanted a pet named “Stanley”),

Thank you for being a beta fish who will fight with his own reflection so that when I put my Diet Coke can up to your bowl, you get ready for battle. This provides me with minutes of entertainment and “show and tell” for any visitors I might have at work. You have no idea how helpful you are, or how happy I am to fish-sit for you.

Sincerely,

A happily employed office manager who occasionally needs a little distraction