my own private reality

It’s really late and I should really be getting to bed…but you know when you just have so many thoughts roaming free in your head and until you can get them corralled, it’s fruitless to try and sleep. Well, maybe you don’t suffer from my malady, but that’s how I’m feeling right now.

Today was what I would call a perfect day. It was Richard’s birthday and we had a fantastic party. Admittedly, I was exhausted most of the day, after the adventures of last night, which included dropping the card off, baking cupcakes, and burning a mix cd for Richard. But it was perfect. And not just because the evening plans went off without a single hitch.

I love my little group of friends. I love that some of us have known each other for years and some for only months, but I am equally comfortable with everyone. I get to be myself and I know that it’s okay. I’m not trying to impress anyone. I can openly say, “you all know that the filter between my brain and my mouth is rarely functioning properly,” and they just laugh because they know it’s true, but they still love me.

I’m sure you can all think of those times in your life when you have just been happy. And not just situationaly content, but really, truly, genuinely happy. The kind of happy that doesn’t go away even when you’re having a bad day. The happy that lives deep inside of you.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy. It’s a great feeling. And I love that I have lived enough life to be able to recognize this while it is going on, instead of after it passes. It feels like this:

And here’s the playlist from the cd, in case anyone wants it. It’s a little eclectic, just like me.
1. Bubbly 2:59 Colbie Caillat
2. I Still Remember 4:23 Bloc Party
3. Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) 4:28 Chris Tomlin
4. Lay Lady Lay 4:37 Magnet
5. Fields of Gold 3:33 Sting & Edin Karamazov
6. Tennessee 3:33 Mindy Smith
7. Makes Me Wonder 3:31 Maroon 5
8. In Reverence 4:06 David Tolk
9. The First Cut Is The Deepest 3:02 Cat Stevens
10. Lullaby (With Ladysmith Black Mamba… 2:32 Josh Groban
11. Hysteria 3:47 Muse
12. A Girl Like You 2:18 Pete Yorn
13. Songs That Say Goodbye 3:53 Schuyler Fisk
14. Time After Time 3:04 Quietdrive
15. Slow Dancing In a Burning Room 3:52 John Mayer
16. Gentleman Who Fell 4:39 Milla
17. goodnight song 3:11 Tammany Hall
18. Goodbye Goodguy 2:51 Frente!
19. Over and Over Again (Lost and Found) 3:09 Clap Your Hands
20. Not Ready To Make Nice 3:58 Dixie Chicks

6 thoughts on “my own private reality

  1. Yay! You’re back. Unfortunately, I think the next birthday isn’t until November. But we are sure to have plenty of parties in the meantime!

  2. Ooh, cute friends (I couldn’t resist!) Thanks for posting your playlist. I’m always in the market for new music, I’m definitely going to look into this.

  3. You know, I kind of envy your little group of friends. In high school I had a group like that, but since then it seems that I have a bunch of good friends in many different groups. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I love my friends, but I miss having a single group of friends who all know each other, have fun together and love each other. You’re a lucky girl!

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