I know this is such a cliche thing to say, but really, I have fantastic friends. And I wrote this great post about them and then my internet froze and I lost it…hopefully I can recapture the thoughts and feelings.
Today was a hard day. A really, really hard day. This year has been a hard year, but it kind of comes and goes. Well, today the hard came with a vengeance. And, being the religious person I am, I fully believe that there are forces working against me that want me to fail, to give up, to quit. And that’s where my friends (some of my most favorite blessings) come in.
Along with the difficulty of today came some great support. My former roommate (and present friend) emailed me about her mission call. She’s going to the Washington, D.C. North Mission, Spanish speaking. I am so excited for her. She emailed me and I had to call her just to tell her how excited I am.
Later, my sister called me at work (she ranks in the BFF category) and, even though I wasn’t able to vent my frustrations to her (for those of you who don’t me, I’m a cryer and, well, that’s just not appropriate at work–not to mention the fact that there are certain things I don’t always share with her), it was just nice to hear her voice.
And then, when the hard came pouring over me, deluge style, I picked up and flipped open my phone (such a crazy world) and called one of my dearest friends. She didn’t answer, so I left a sad, pathetic message and she called me back about 20 minutes later and I got to cry and be angry and hurt and scared and bitter and all of those things that we don’t let most people see and say things that would shock those people who never see that part of me. I felt better. My problems weren’t solved. There’s not really a solution other than time. But, in the meantime, I was functional again.
And, as I was laying down, hoping the Advil would kick in so that I could go for a nice, long run, another friend called and we were able to have a good conversation about life and its trials and blessings. And then, because I didn’t feel like my venting would be complete without the inclusion of three more friends, I was able to email them and get it all out.
I have great friends. What I have realized in my old age and maturity (okay, the reality is I’m not that old or mature) is that friendships, the ones that last, do so because they are symbiotic. I knew I could call up my friend today because I have made lots of deposits into our friendship account, and even if I did overdraft at some point (which I have on occasion), she knows I’m good for it.
Friends can’t always solve my problems (nor do I think that they should) or keep me from ever being hurt or crying, but it sure is nice to know that they are there when I need to cry, or yell, or scream, or be silly, or laugh, or just be. And, when I feel like there are so many things wrong with me, they are there to tell me to “shut right up” and move on, or that I’ll be okay, or that I’m being ridiculous…or any number of other things.
And, when I’m missing my mom (let’s face it, when you have a good relationship with your mom, even if she was a little nutty, there’s no one who can compare to her), I know that I have friends who love and support me the way that she would if she were here.
How lucky am I?!