up to my neck in you

  1. I am grateful for crushes. They make single life interesting. They help me think about the things I want to improve in my life. They give me something to daydream about.
  2. I am grateful for massages. That was my birthday treat to myself (even though my birthday is tomorrow)…or one of them. I am so lucky to have worked in a spa for as long as I did. Sometimes I miss it. It was really nice, today, to experience a little piece of that and relax for a while.
  3. I am grateful for 911 and ambulances and hospitals and modern medicine. I can’t imagine what life was like without all of the fabulous medical technology we now enjoy! Too bad so many people sue doctors so that everything costs so much!

“My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort”
–President Gordon B. Hinckley

mighty wings

So, I’m a little behind and I’m pre-dating these and going to try and remember what I was grateful for on Monday…or maybe I’ll just think of a big list of what I’m grateful for today (Wednesday, Nov. 4th) and share a few of those here.

  1. I am grateful for sleep. I’m getting more than usual and I love it. It’s sad that it’s taking a little friendly competition to make that happen, but whatever…it’s working.
  2. I am grateful for my grandma and her fabulous dinners…especially birthday dinners with banana cake.
  3. I am grateful for my siblings. I don’t know what I would do without them. Life is rough sometimes. And our relationships are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination…but my brothers and sisters and their fabulous spouses make not having a mom (well, you know, alive) bearable.

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
–Cynthia Ozick

time after time

  1. I am grateful for music…all kinds. I just love it. And I don’t really understand people who don’t. Most of my best (and worst) memories have music associated with them. When I want to feel happy, I can play a song–ONE SONG–and instantly feel better. When I need to get the sad feelings out, I can do the same.
  2. I am grateful that my brother and his wife and their two kiddies live just down the street from me right now. I am loving every minute of it. I love that I can help them out with babysitting and such, and that they are so generous as to always welcome me into their home. It really is a win-win!
  3. I am grateful for a body that will let me go for months without exercising and then let me push it to three miles on my second day back “on the wagon.” I often find myself complaining about the fact that I am not a size 2 and I find all of these flaws with the way I look, but really, my body is amazing in the way that it will let me push it without quitting on me. And I’m healthy in the sense that I am disease and disorder free. How many people can say that?

attitude of gratitude ’09

My friend Jennifer does this every year and I have taken to doing it for the last 2 or 3, but I don’t send out emails, I just blog about it.

It’s that time of year again (can you believe that it is November TOMORROW?). Time for pumpkins and gloves and long-sleeves and the November Attitude of Gratitude Challenge. Participation is completely voluntary. For those of you who have not played before, the challenge is outlined below.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:

  • Each day during the month of November you will send an email to me, at least, but feel free to invite others to participate and you can send your gratitude emails to them, as well. (For those of you blogging it, please leave a comment so I can follow you if I’m not already.)
  • Each daily email will contain three “things” for which you are grateful.
  • Definition of “things”- the term “things” is used here to encompass a lot of stuff including, but not limited to: a certain set of circumstances, an event, an inanimate object distinguished from a living being, possessions or effects, a deed or act, a product of work or activity, an idea or notion, a piece of news or information, a person, a memory, anything that makes you smile.
  • The challenge is to come up with three ORIGINAL “things” each day. Try not to repeat entries.
  • Your email should be sent by midnight each night (or blog post posted by that same time). If you miss a day or two, no biggie, but you have to make it up, no skipping!

NOTE: I will only be blogging these…except for to my family, who I may or may not email (I haven’t decided yet).

WARNING OF POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS!!
Please note that challenge participation may result in any or all of the following:
– you will be surprised at all the Lord has done for you
– angels will attend
– you will feel help and comfort
– you may find yourself singing as the days go by
– your doubts will fly

In the past years I’ve included a gratitude quote each day. I think I’ve used them all up. This year (and in future years) you can expect to see some duplication of these quotes. Sorry, kids.

“Gracias, danke, merci—whatever language is spoken, “thank you” frequently expressed will cheer your spirit, broaden your friendships, and lift your lives to a higher pathway as you journey toward perfection. There is a simplicity—even a sincerity—when “thank you” is spoken.”

-Thomas S. Monson, “The Profound Power of Gratitude,” Ensign, Sep 2005

“Our society is afflicted by a spirit of thoughtless arrogance unbecoming those who have been so magnificently blessed. How grateful we should be for the bounties we enjoy. Absence of gratitude is the mark of the narrow, uneducated mind. It bespeaks a lack of knowledge and the ignorance of self-sufficiency. It expresses itself in ugly egotism and frequently in wanton mischief.

Where there is appreciation, there is courtesy, there is concern for the rights and property of others. Without appreciation, there is arrogance and evil. Where there is gratitude, there is humility, as opposed to pride. How magnificently we are blessed! How thankful we ought to be!”

-Gordon B. Hinckley, “‘With All Thy Getting Get Understanding’,” Ensign, Aug 1988

feedback: the condensed version

I wrote a much longer post about this topic, but…it was really, really long. So here’s the Campbell’s Soup version.

  1. Be specific about the type of feedback you want. Ex: “Joe, would you mind looking over my resume for any glaring mistakes? I feel good about the content, but what I’d love is for you to mark any misspellings, incorrect grammar, and/or anything that might be distracting. Thank you.”
  2. If you know someone who is always fishing (as in, fishing for compliments), go for the preemptive strike. Hit him/her with a really kind, true remark. If he/she asks for more and there’s nothing else you can honestly say without hurting his/her feelings, lightly (as in, “Ha ha ha, you’re suck a jokester”)say something along the lines of, “Hello? Weren’t you listening? I am in love with that shirt/title/bullet point/bracelet/eyeshadow color!”
  3. Establish an honest reputation. People know that I tell it straight, so when someone asks me for my opinion, he/she knows that’s exactly what I’m going to give.
  4. Make sure that you are giving feedback for the right reason. This is one area where doing the right thing for the wrong reason could just really mess things up. What do I mean? Make sure you are motivated by your care and concern for the person and not just wanting to rip on him/her. And make sure that the feedback is actually necessary. Ex: Regardless of the fact that muffin tops don’t look good on anyone, telling a girl her jeans give her a muffin top is just not necessary…unless she has asked for the feedback AND she has the option to change out of the jeans immediately if she so desires.
  5. Qualify your feedback (could also be stated: a little humility goes a long way). This can lessen the blow, but it must be genuine. Ex: “I have formatted my resume they way I have because I think it’s a really good format, so my comments will probably be based on that. Realize, however, that this is not the only way to format it and mine is not the only opinion out there.”
  6. Explain why you are sharing whatever it is your sharing. Ex: A guy recently asked me to recommend him to some recruiters and state my confidence in his competence and ability to perform at said company. I have had all of two conversations with the kid. I could have ignored his request (email has added a new medium–perhaps one of the best–to the art of conflict avoidance), however this guy is just finishing his last year of undergrad and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that no one had ever explained to him how recommendations should work–based on my experience. I kindly (after sleeping on it) replied to his email by stating, first, that I didn’t feel comfortable with recommending him, then the reason, followed with why I was giving him this feedback (so he wouldn’t make the same mistake in the future when the stakes might be much higher–I had no say in who got second interviews nor did I feel it was my place to pass any information along, so his minor error had zero effect on the outcome).
  7. Get comfortable with the idea that people might think you are a swear word of some sort…until they realize that you really are motivated by care and concern. (I live with this reality on a daily basis).
  8. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.
  9. Don’t ask for it if you don’t want it
  10. In a high stakes situation–job performance, interviews, skills/abilities–do not lie. If feedback makes you uncomfortable, realize that by not being honest you are being selfish. Stop trying to convince yourself that you aren’t being honest because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings–if you don’t want to date someone, just tell him/her. You aren’t being honest because you don’t want to deal with your own discomfort.