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injured in the city

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Someday my feet will look like this again…I hope.

Just when everything was perfect…tragedy strikes.

Okay, a little dramatic, but it feels a little dramatic in this city.

Friday night, I had my soccer game. We were getting our trash kicked. Total blowout. There were about two minutes left in the game. I was exhausted because we had no female subs. The team we were playing was just a lot better than us…and had total attitude about it. Nothing like cocky winners to make a frustrating game even more painful. So there we were, two minutes left in the game, the other team had the ball by our goal again and I was not going to let it get past me. So, I charged the ball and the girl dribbling the ball, and we collided. And POP went my ankle. Not like a little ankle roll, but a serious pop.

I’m not really one to give into physical pain. My tolerance is high and I like to be “tough”. So, I just “walked it off” then hobbled to the bar with my teammates and hung out for a couple of hours. I still had my shin guards and socks on…I was too nervous to take them off. When we got done at the bar, I could barely walk, so I took a cab. What you need to know is that I almost never take cabs. Like, really. Especially not from 23rd Street all the way to my apartment on the upper Upper West Side. And then I got home and took off my shin guards and my socks and this is what I saw.

So, I text my sister (the doctor) this picture and she told me I needed x-rays. And that is where the real adventure began. I realized that since I left home at the ripe young age of 17, I’ve always had either the health center at my university or my sister (the doctor) to take care of me. And when I’ve needed urgent care or some other emergency something, I’ve had a car and I’ve known exactly where to go.

In this city of 8 million people and no car, what once seemed like no big deal was a very big deal. With all of these hospitals and emergency rooms and no car, the whole idea of getting x-rays was just not super exciting. I waited until Saturday morning and headed to the urgent care that looked the least scary from my online search and that took my insurance and that had x-rays onsite. Of course, it was all the way down on 13th Street and the subway was not going to work, so a $20 cab ride later, I was there only to find out their x-ray machine was down.

That said, I stayed (I couldn’t stomach another cab ride or internet search). The doctor came and looked at it. After poking and prodding she concluded that it was just a sprain. Then she wrapped it up and I was on my way. Thank goodness for good insurance and no co-pay because there was another $20 cab ride to get home.

And then I got home, only to realize that I had no food in my house. So, it was order in time. That is the one thing that is easier here than anywhere I’ve ever lived. Every place delivers and it’s amazing. I missed my soccer game on Saturday (I really thought I might have been able to play before I got home Friday night). And since then I’ve basically been on my couch for three days running. There’s no running out to get something because “running out” requires a lot of walking, as opposed to just getting in a car. And I still hate paying for cabs, so I’m stuck.

And the overall swelling has caught up with the ankle – I call it elephant foot.

Thankfully I’ve had some nice visitors come to see me (in all my injured glory) and Felicity has been keeping me company, so it could be worse. I missed my soccer game, the Primary program at church (I was so excited to be up there with my kidlets) and a fun dinner party, but that’s it. Oh, and laundry didn’t happen because there’s no way I could carry my 20 lbs bad of clothes two blocks to the laundromat. So, kind of crappy and it also made me think about just how difficult (and expensive) it would be to be disabled in this city. And just how lucky I am that this is just and injury and not a way of life for me. And maybe it made me miss suburbia just a little bit, and my car, and my family.

the bicycle

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One of the other things I did on Monday, besides laundry, was go on a 14 mile bike ride. My intention was just to ride up to the GWB, but then I got there and thought, “Why not make it around the entire north side of the island…so I just kept going. One of my favorite things about living in New York is the bridges, so I love that my bike lets me get so close to them (or at least this one) so quickly.

Ignore the fact that the Hudson is completely brown (apparently hurricanes can do that to rivers), but don’t miss the American flag hanging on the far side. With the 10th anniversary of 9/11 coming up on Sunday, it just made my heart smile to see our lovely flag hanging there.

Isn’t she lovely?

After I took these two pictures, I just kept riding…and riding…and it was lovely. So, in case you were wondering if I’m using my bike that required a big financial decision, the answer is yes. Totally worth it.

pancetta, leek, and goat cheese tartlets

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They taste even better than they look

Remember once upon a time when I used to cook a lot. Not sure what happened or when it happened, but I just kind of stopped…and then recently, the baking bug has bitten again. It started with cookies. And then the tartlet pan (total impulse buy) was just sitting in the box, unused, whispering to me from beside the couch where I was storing it. So, I got online and found a recipe for delicious little tartlets (mini quiches, if you will). And tonight, I baked. And I had people over to my apartment for the first time in a while. And it was lovely. And the tartlets? Amazing, if I may be so bold.

The recipe isn’t mine, but I did improve the crust because, well, I’ve got some serious pastry skills (tart pastry anyway). So, without further ado, here’s the recipe (as posted on epicurious–originally seen in Bon Appetit):

Crust
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
3 ounces chilled cream cheese, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
Ice water to texture

Filling
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
2 cups chopped leeks (white and pale green parts only; about 3 large)
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
4 ounces thinly sliced pancetta, chopped
2/3 cup half and half
2 large egg yolks
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 ounces soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled

Fresh parsley leaves (I didn’t use the garnish)

For crust:

  • Blend flour and salt in processor 5 seconds. Add butter and cream cheese. Using on/off turns, blend until moist clumps form. Gather dough; shape into 6-inch-long log. Wrap and chill at least 1 hour and up to 1 day.
  • Cut log into 24 1/4-inch-thick rounds. Press 1 round into each cup of 2 nonstick 12-cup mini muffin pans; freeze 30 minutes.

having the right equipment is key

And what I did: 

  • Put the flour, cream cheese, and butter in a bowl and place the bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes (assuming you started with cold cream cheese and butter–if not, freeze it longer). 
  • Using a pastry cutter–this is imperative for keeping all the ingredients chilled which is what will give you the lovely, light, flakey crust you want–cut the butter and cream cheese into the flour until you have pea-sized balls of dough. 
  • Slowly add ice-cold water (a tablespoon at a time) until the dough just comes together to form a ball. 
  • If the dough feels at all greasy (like the butter has started to soften), refrigerate it for 5-20 minutes. 
  • Roll the dough out to 1/4″ thickness and cut circles (I use a cutter) large enough for whatever pan you are using (muffin tin, mini-muffin tin, tartlet pans), place the rounds in the pan and then freeze for 10-20 minutes. 

Meanwhile, prepare filling: (No changes here–except the parsley garnish)

  • Preheat oven to 350°F. Melt butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add leeks and sauté 10 minutes; cool. Heat oil in small skillet over medium-high heat. Add pancetta; sauté until crisp, about 6 minutes. Using slotted spoon, transfer pancetta to paper towels. Whisk half and half and next 3 ingredients in medium bowl to blend. Mix in goat cheese, then leeks and pancetta.
  • Spoon filling into shells. Bake until filling is set and crust edges are golden, about 25-30 minutes. Cool in pans 5 minutes. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cool, cover, and chill in pans. Rewarm uncovered in 350°F oven 12 minutes.)
  • Using small knife, cut around tartlets to loosen. Turn out tartlets and arrange on platter; top each with parsley leaf 

and just like clockwork

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The valley that I was writing about in my last post swiftly became a peak and I had a fantastic weekend.

My intention in this post was to write about my weekend, but as I wrote that first sentence, I pictured a road with hills and valleys. And I was imagining running on that hill. And it just occurred to me (I’m sure this is obvious to so many of you…I just happen to be a little slow sometimes) what a beautiful metaphor hills and valleys are. It’s not just about the high point and the low point. It’s also about what it takes to get to the high point and how easy it is to coast into the low point.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how I feel like my life in New York has these amazing highs (like this weekend with the Met and the beach and movies and Donut Plant), but it also has these incredibly deep lows and so it feels like I’m unhappy a lot…but then I also have so many moments when I want to pinch myself just to make sure I’m awake because my life is so dreamy. People say when you move to New York it takes years off of your life. I think that might be true.

Back to the metaphor. I’ve been really frustrated by this whole roller coaster that is my life right now. I feel a little bit manic, to be totally honest. I feel like every five minutes I’m saying to someone something along the lines of, “Wow, I’m glad that’s over,” or, “Wow, how did I get here again?” It’s exhausting.

So here’s what I think I was missing that I just picked up on right now. It takes work to have those highs (or it should), but lately I feel like it’s the momentum that’s keeping me going. It’s the drop from the high that pushes me on to the next one. If I’m really going to take the time to get through the crap and understand what’s really behind it all, I might have to spend a little more time in the valley and then actually have to work my way to the next peak. And maybe that’s not even possible to do in New York because life moves so fast. But maybe it is.

In any case, it’s always to think rationally about these things when I’m happy as can be…we’ll see how I feel about it all the next time I hit a low point. I’m nothing if not realistic–or maybe that’s cynicism. (Such a fine line between the two…)

I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone but me…but is making sense to me. And as I always say, I started this blog to find myself and this is part of me.

And now, because I’ve been loving my recent music discoveries…another new song. (Well, new to me.)